The Best Person I Can Be is Me!

The Best Person I Can Be is Me!

The best person I can be, and the only person I need to be, is me. Yesterday I was doubting myself as I sent another email to people asking that they attend a meeting about the state budget and its impact on our kids and community. I wondered if people really wanted to hear from me or was I becoming an email to be deleted? Was I the new Chicken Little, buzzing about interrupting folks during their busy day? I wondered if people would begin to see email’s from me and not open them because they knew I had something to ask? With my confidence shaky, I took a deep breath, and told myself “do it anyway” and I hit the send button, no turning back now.

Within minutes I got my first response and I was reminded that courage is not the absence of fear, it’s the ability to act when you are fearful. Sometimes it can be frightening to just be yourself and I forget that's all we were ever expected to be. So thank you to the two wonderful people who were loving enough to encourage me, when you had no idea that I needed it. Here’s what they said:

One mom wrote back this note:

Yes. I saw this too last week. Of course I just cried but you are actually doing something!!! How great. I think I will try to come too but I'll have my littlest guy with me.

A past therapist of Nicky’s wrote back:
Hey Donna, just going over your email and reading some of your blog, i know you heard this before, but i just want you to know how exceptional you are, you are truly an inspiration, while reading your log i couldn't help feeling sad and very hopeful at the same time, my life is no where as interesting as yours but at times it seems unbearable, people like you make life seems worthwhile, you are truly one of gods servants, thank you for sharing so much of your life with me, and pleaseeeeeeeeee, never change you! I love you guys always


HERE'S THE EMAIL THAT I SENT OUT WHICH THE TWO LADIES ABOVE RESPONDED TO
I’m feeling a little like “Chicken Little” running around screaming “The Budget is Coming the Budget is Coming”. LOL.
Wanna come? I am going to be taking Nicky with me on Monday afternoon to attend the mandatory DDS "community" meeting about how, not if or when the budget cuts can best be applied *permanently* to Regional Center YIKES!!!!!
I'm going because I'm not oozing confidence that the state will do what it takes to insure that the Regional Centers are here to care for Nicky, when the day comes that I can't. So, I'm thinking why not use this fiscal disaster as an opportunity to improve our system of care not just doing “business as usual” with less.
Seems to me President Obama's plan for the federal budget, a thorough review of all costs, could work here. Why not ask the state to hire a Legislative Analysis (not a DDS employee) to look at the system, from to p to bottom, and make recommendations to eliminate the waste, improve efficiency and not harm the families who rely on the system.
Feel free to spread the word to folks you think might be interested and Let me know if you're going :)
Donna
Here is the official statement that got me started!
The Governor's Budget, issued on January 9, 2009, anticipates a significant funding reduction. Over the next few months, the Department of Developmental Services (DDS), working with stakeholders, will develop proposals to achieve targeted savings while maintaining the entitlement and ensuring program and service integrity.
The purpose of the forum is to receive input from consumers, family members, service providers and other stakeholders on possible cost containment strategies, including but not limited to those identified in the Controll ing Regional Center Costs Report.

Boys, Bathrooms, Urinals...Clueless...I'm a Girl!

One more male only ritual exposed for the sake of our children.
Until now Nicky's support team at school has been mostly women. They have been perfect nurturers, smart, kind and gentle. This year I decided that "we" women could not, no matter how well trained or intentioned give Nicky his "Man" stuff. This week we got the perfect example of our shortcomings :). His male therapist came to me and said when he pulls his britches down to his knee's at the urinal the other kids laugh at him and it's got to stop". All I could say was "Okay I'll tell everyone". It just happened that we were having a team meeting with his behavioral team the next day. I raised this as a topic of discussion - to the all female team - and it was hysterical. I realized as they starred blankly at me, and explained that they had only potty trained little ones to sit on the toilet, that none of us had a clue into the details of the all male world of the urinal!!!! We didn't know if he was supposed to pull his pants down, or use the hole in the front of his "tighty whities" so we all stared at each other. Finally I said "Okay let's call his school guy who told me this". We called him and he explained the MAN process, starting with a stern "Donna the whole POTTY thing has got to go!. He's too big for you to being saying "POTTY", its restroom. He needs to:
• Go in the Urinal
• Undo the top of his pants - Not pull them down below his bottom
• Grab a hold of "his business"
• Lift "his business" out of his pants and pee.
• Then shake off "His Business" and put it back.

He then said "The problem is that Nicky does not want to touch "his business" (and that's probably because the mama always told him not to touch IT because of all the stories I had been told about our kids masturbating out of control) and he hasn't figured our how to hold up his shirt, and manage "his business" at the same time. But he will get it."

So for all you mom's out there, here's the inside story. One more male only ritual exposed for the sake of our children.