Saturday, November 10, 2007

I Can't Let Others Tell Me What is So About Nicky

There is a word I have come to fear. A word that sends such intense emotion through me it's hard to pin point it to any one feeling. It's a combination of failure, loss, and hopelessness all rolled into one. The word that does this to me is "Plateau" when people say my son has reached/hit a plateau all I hear is that they are walking away, they are giving up, they see no more opportunity for him to improve, they are throwing in the towel and any hope I hold for him continuing to make progress is naive and I should abandon my denial and deal with reality - this is it for him. I know it's not true but every time I heard it I have to fight off my fears and remember what I know.

I heard that word again today and I felt those feeling again and they feel awful. I cried and I sat in the feeling and then I got back up and remembered what I know is true. They don't know Nicky like I know Nicky, and he is only 9 years old, no body knows the totality of his future. I know he has enormous potential, I know he has not plateaued in his comprehension, I know this is the opinion of one person.. Most of all I know that even if she is right - and he has plateaued in this area SO WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S NOT THE ONLY AREA OF HIS ABILITIES. HE IS NOT A ONE DIMENSIONAL PERSON WITH ONE ONLY SKILL THAT DETERMINES HIS QUALITY OF LIFE.

Imagine if my mom had broken down with my Algebra teacher said, she just doesn't get it. Duh! No we don't all get everything and we don't all have the same abilities but we all fit someone where. There is a special place for each of us.

Nicky may never be great at auditory processing and he may always think "are" and "old" are the same word. Not terrific, but not horrendous either. He does so many things I can't do. He know's when I'm within 20 feet even when I have not made a sound. He recognizes genuine people immediately, he remembers everything that has been said to him about any animal on the planet since he was 2. He can explode with the most exuberant and contagious joy I have even had the pleasure of witnessing. He is so direct about his anger - it can be hard for me to have a straight face. He would never do anything to ever intentionally hurt anyone. And every day he teaches me to live in the moment because he never brings yesterday's stuff into a new day.

Notes to myself and others

l. Our kids are not the same, they are different. Our job is to appreciate the differences.

2. Focus on the gifts that come from the differences and not the perceived loss's

3. Remember that God put these children here and he had a reason, maybe they are the angels sent to teach tolerance.

4. Maybe God put these children here to teach us of how many more ways people can think and do things... to expand our understanding.

5 . Nothing is impossible

6. Only god will decide his future

7. I have faith in all that can be

8. What seems true today, may not be true tomorrow, I have to keep doing my best.

1 comment:

  1. besst advicie ever giivenn,g reat jobS!! andnd tond believe anbyodody thas sayys he cannt dod this ro that, when i was ur sround ur sons age, i couldjktn brushh my own teeth,, dressemyfl, stillneeded help feeding myself,, not ver verbal, needed to be wattched 247, no understanding of ppl or their emapthyy, no interest in anytihginb besides buggs, strinngs, anything purple, or rubber andd now i can ansnwer a phone, bruhs my own teeth, dressemyown self, can feee dmyself. help takekc are of myc ats and lizards, and much more.. so what i didnt really show any trueu potential untill my late teenns, tiis never ever too late, keep fighitng for nicky, never giv eup hope, never!