Friday, April 27, 2012

Bambi in my driveway....dead.

Bambi in my driveway....dead. The circle of life played out at my house yesterday when coyotes killed a deer  in the early morning hours and left him sprawled across my drive way, with a big bite out of his belly exposing deer guts and all that isn't right in the world.  I confess I prefer circle of life realities as seen on Animal Planet and not in person, but that's not what's upsetting me, it’s the humans!

First I called and spoke to a man at LA's dead animal removal, and it seems, thanks to budget cuts, cleaning up dead animals isn’t a big priority, so 24 hours later Bambi is half eaten and still in my driveway.

I refused to look at Bambi, but one after another my mostly male neighbors came by to alert me to the dead deer in “MY” driveway and ask what I’m going to do about it. I've called for pick up and that's about all I can do about it. Then these men who have no problem telling me about the mess and how awful it is that the deer is laying there dead, how dangerous the coyotes are for kids and small animals, do nothing to help. They know I'm a single mom and the best they could do was give me a suggestion about other men who should move the animal.  Nicky's therapist should do, the firemen do it, other neighbors should do it, and the firemen suggested my neighbors do it, full circle and they were all useless!

One neighbor, who had pulled out his BB gun prepared to shoot the coyotes when they came to feed off the carcass… walked around the deer up my driveway and suggested that I get one of my boyfriends to move it!  Boyfriends???? It took me a minute then it hit me, he thinks Nicky’s male therapist are all my boyfriends!  Really OMG and LOL, you’ve got to be kidding.  Considering these guys come and go, sometimes 3 in one day…he sure must think I’m a busy girl!!!!! 

Meanwhile reports confirm that coyotes have been dragging the poor deer back and forth across my driveway slowly removing more parts! One person said there’s a liver just laying out, and it looks like “Mutual of Omaha” in my driveway. I'm so freaked out!!!

Can't get my car out without driving over Bambi or Bambi parts, so I order a pizza. The pizza man who always comes to the front door, drives up the driveway.  I ask if he saw the deer, and he replies “What Deer” and zooms off.  Relieved, I ask someone to confirm the deer is gone. Nope, Pizza man just drove over everything, didn’t see the deer, the blood, nothing??!! Really!

As if things have not been crazy enough I tell my sister and she wants to know if there's any meat that can be salvaged for her to cook! Yuck!!  My daughter screams with disappointment that she isn't here to see it. She wants the skull! She explains how I should bury it, let nature decompose it, and then she could come and dig it up and use it as a model for her drawings. OMG...

Much to my disgust, when the bus drops Nicky off, he sees the deer. He comes in the house determined to get a closer look at  "the deer sleeping in the driveway".  Yikes, I don't think so! So now I’ve got to lock Nicky in the house.

It's past 4:30 and I resign myself to the fact that the animal pick up men won’t be coming today.  I’m happy rain is in the forecast and I can count on nature to clean up some of the mess.I spend the night listening to coyotes howling in search of their kill, and just hope it will be gone by morning.

It's been 24 hours and I'm waiting for the gardeners, so they can check and see if the deer is still there this morning. Yep, they find him right away, however based on their description it's clear he's been dragged a few feet, but he's still here.  I call animal control again, this time I get a nice woman who promised to get the deer picked up before noon. 

Just when I think it’s over…here comes another friendly neighbor. I open the door to her yelling at me “The deer is in front of my car now, and your gardeners put him there!”   Really!  All I can get out is “Please don’t yell at me, I’m sure the gardeners didn't put the deer in front of your car, because the gardeners just like every other man on this street – including your husband – don’t want to touch the deer!" I’m sure the coyotes were just trying to drag it off so they can finish eating him, in the canyon, where they live which is behind her house!

And, why is it my deer? I didn't kill it, my animals didn’t kill it, the coyotes aren't mine and now it’s not even in my driveway. Seems to me at this moment it must be her deer!  

But, yes, I ask the gardeners to move the deer remains from in front of her car.

Seems there's a new circle of life and it's full of crazy people and no real men!


  1. We had one next to our mailbox where the kids got on the school bus for a week I feel your pain.

  2. Donna
    -What a story! Love the reaction from Nicky!

    I am sorry that the coyotes killed & partially ate the deer in your driveway, but I am glad that the coyotes didn't just kill the deer & then not eat it...What is more upsetting than the coyotes deciding to partially eat dinner at your place vs the unpaved canyon are your selfish neighbors! Man - that the killer! (so to speak!) Very Rude & selfish! Forget those homeowners where you live --->The Gardeners are the real men!

  3. Donna,
    OMG. This story is sickly hysterical. You have provided me much entertainment late at night. Great read! Crummy neighbors!
    Jennifer M

  4. Donna,

    I heard the incident down the block. Sounded scary and so very primal. I knew exactly what was going on, just didn't know what the prey was (first thought was a large family pet.) That deer sure put up a fight!
    I heard the howling of the coyotes and how they worked together to encircle their next meal. It seemed to go on forever.

    Sorry for you, your driveway, your neighbors and Bambi!


  5. As a New Mexican, I *used* to envy those with more wildlife in their back... er... front yards. Not so much anymore. I hope somebody finally remedied the situation!

  6. Thanks for the much needed laughter!