Saturday, July 16, 2016

The Pain I Feel Now, Is Proof of How Much Love We Shared; A Daughters Journey

I've passed through the "Is this real" phase, and the frantic, intense phase of making sure her memorial was one she would show up for. Now heading out of the "Did I miss anything phase, was there anything else I should have done?", and seems in the quiet I have now reconnected to my heart - which in some ways was on pause  because the grief was too much - and I'm in the "Oh my gosh I won't ever see or hear her again phase" and I just want to roll up in ball as I try to come to terms with that reality.  I think this is the hardest".

I was so blessed to have her, and that emotion is not lost on me. But my Mom, was the only constant in my entire life. She was the only one who I knew would always be there. The one who loved me no matter what I did. The one who said she was proud of me, and the one who would just silently take my hand, hold it, and just say "Love you". This is a loss like no other. There is not another person in this world who can be your mom, and I had a great one for me.  She was a very special gift, and I guess I've known that always.

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