WARNING - If you are already suffering
deep pain in the form of guilt around your child’s diagnosis of autism, this is
not the read for you. This is one mom’s story and it is profound. I have
no doubt this is her truth, or that this truth is key to helping her cope with
a diagnosis of autism which was and is devastating for her. A diagnosis for
which there is no confirmed cause or cure.
I know this because everyone of us hears this diagnosis and asks with the
question; what caused this? And the pain of no answers, no solutions has left
many of us feeling helpless and hopeless, which can be unbearable. So how do we
cope, the best way we can.
A fact. we have confirmed
autism, in some forms in an autoimmune illness, that said any one of the things
listed might of assaulted her son’s body until he could fight no more. However,
I am not convinced that this is, or will be everyone’s story. It is not mine. I have two children, one with autism one
without and they had nearly the identical pre natal and early life experiences
and I wasn't in contact with each of the elements she lists, however autism is alive and
well in my house. I appreciate this mom’s
perspective and the strength she gets from accepting responsibility and moving
forward. At the same time I am reminded of when autism was blamed on un-affectionate
moms. It’s true moms were called “Refrigerator
Mothers” and directly blamed for their children’s autism and we don’t need to go there
again…no matter what!
This is an eye-opener to anyone
who hasn’t paid attention to the autism epidemic. The author has bared her soul
in the hope of saving other children. Her humility is combined with a powerful
sense of morality and intelligence. Though she takes full responsibility for
her child’s plight, the truth is that modern medicine has a world of destroyed
lives to answer for.
I should start by saying that I was raised
Catholic. The concepts of reconciliation and absolution are completely
ingrained in me. I grew up going to confession at a beautiful monastery where
Father Francis, an elderly monk, held my hand as we walked the grounds, and I
asked for forgiveness for my transgressions. I always felt great relief
and unconditional love after our time together. Unfortunately,
Father Francis passed away years ago, and I haven’t been to confession since.
My spiritual beliefs have evolved and changed over the years, but the idea of
forgiveness is still critical to how I walk through life. There are things I
have done for which I know God forgives me. However, I’m pretty sure that I
will never forgive myself, for my transgressions are embodied in a beautiful
seven-year-old who tells me daily that I am “the best Mom in the universe.” I
know the truth. And someday, so will he. All of these “unforgivable”
actions were done with the best of intentions, but we all know what they say
about “good intentions” and “the road to hell.” I am admitting here for all the
world to see: I gave my son Autism. I did it. Me. And no one can ever take that
away.
So … how did I give my son autism? I wish I
could say it was one thing—one thing that I could take back that would make
things neat and easy, but it wasn’t. It was mistake after mistake, assault
after assault. The following are the biggest mistakes I made to which I
attribute my son’s descent into autism. I’m going to provide links that are
easily readable and understandable that contain links to the research rather
than providing links to the research itself. A simple Google search about any one
of these topics will provide more information than you could ever want. Here
goes . . .
1) Ultrasounds: I had
at least five while I was pregnant. I was assured that they were completely
safe. Heck, you can get them in malls, so I assumed they were pretty benign.
Wrong! While I didn’t get ultrasounds in malls, I didn’t research them either.
Ultrasounds have, in fact, been implicated in autism among other neurological
disorders. While there is no definitive “causal link,” enough has been found to
warrant further research and precautionary measures. According to THIS article, “Research shows populations
exposed to ultrasound have a quadrupled perinatal death rate, increased rates
of brain damage, nerve cell demylienation, dyslexia, speech delays, epilepsy
and learning difficulty.” Sound familiar?
2) High-fructose corn syrup:
I drank Coca Cola every single day while I was pregnant. I was so incredibly
nauseous and it made my stomach feel better. Fast forward a few years and Coca
Cola Classic was found to have one of the highest levels of mercury due to HFCS
of any product tested. I didn’t eat one bite of fish during my pregnancy for
fear of mercury. While I didn’t know there was mercury in the Coke, I have to
be honest and admit that of course I knew
that eating and drinking junk wasn’t good for my baby.
3) Lortab/Acetaminophen
(Paracetamol) while pregnant: I have Fibromyalgia. It is painful
normally, but it was practically unbearable while I was pregnant. My OB
prescribed Lortab telling me that it didn’t cross the placenta and was
perfectly safe. I was in so much pain that I wasn’t about to look into this
further. I trusted my OB thoroughly and needed to feel better.
Again, did I honestly think that this was good
for the baby? Of course not. Lortab is a Category C drug which
basically means that not enough human testing has been done to qualify it as
safe, but based on animal studies, there is reason to believe that it could be
dangerous or problematic. I couldn’t find any specific links between Lortab
and Autism, but common sense dictates that this was not good.
4) Pitocin: Two of the
ultrasounds I received at the end of my pregnancy revealed that my water was
getting dangerously low, so my OB felt we should induce labor. After several
hours of not making progress on the Pitocin drip at low levels, the hospital
encouraged me to sign a waiver allowing them to increase the Pitocin to
illegal levels. Now, I know this seems absurd, but at the time, I was in
incredible pain and was told by hospital staff that it was perfectly safe and
was used at these levels all over the country. According to them, Montana just
has a very low cap on the highest level allowed. I had Pitocin for 36 hours.
Here is an explanation from an excellent article on that explains
the potential risks associated with Pitocin:
In either induced or enhanced
use of Pitocin, the blood supply, and therefore the oxygen source to the
uterus, is greatly reduced. With naturally-paced contractions, there is a time
interval between contractions allowing for the baby to be fully oxygenated
before the next contraction. In induced or enhanced labor, the contractions are
closer together and last for a longer time, thus shortening the interval where
the baby receives the oxygen supply. Reduced oxygen to the baby in labor has
life-long consequences on the baby’s brain function.
5) C-Section: George
Malcolm Morley, OB/GYN has done extensive research regarding
C-Sections and autism and has concluded that, “A baby born by C-section is 3-4
times more likely to have autism.” His theory is that it is probably due
to ICC (immediate cord clamping) and there are really good reasons to think he
may be right. There are so many different elements that play a part in
C-sections, however, that it is really hard to determine exactly which specific
aspect is problematic: anesthesia, maternal immobility, labor trauma, cord
clamping, post-op drugs or lack of friendly bacteria due to bypassing the
vaginal canal are all suspect individually. It is easy to see how a combination
of all of the above could have a negative impact.
Because I had made the bad decisions about the
ultrasounds that led to the bad decision about the Pitocin that led to labor
trauma, I ultimately had to have an emergency C-section. I can’t believe
that there are so many women who choose to deliver via C-section for cosmetic
reasons – I won’t elaborate on this one. Ick. I’ll be honest; I am still
a little bitter about this. I really wanted a natural childbirth. My husband
and I took the classes; we practiced at home. Thirty-six hours of drug-induced
hell, and I still ended up with a C-section. And not just a regular C-section:
it was such an emergency that I had to be anesthetized via general anesthesia,
even though I had an epidural in place.
6) Antibiotics: Oh boy.
Where to begin? I have so many mixed feelings about antibiotics. Here is what I
know: My son was exposed to antibiotics while he was in distress during labor.
He was then exposed for the first two weeks of his life via breast milk. He
then received five courses of antibiotics before he was a year
old for chronic ear infections. While this is bad cumulatively, the one
event that stands out for me, and literally makes me feel sick, was a single
dose of Augmentin when he was six months old. At his six-month “well” visit, he
was diagnosed with his second ear infection. He received vaccinations for seven
different diseases despite being ill, and we left with a prescription for
Amoxicillin. Six days later, he had developed an upper respiratory infection
and the ear infection was worse. Because the Amoxicillin hadn’t worked, the
pediatrician prescribed a course of Augmentin. After one dose of this drug and
within 24 hours, my six-month-old baby had 35 acidic, liquid bowel movements.
The skin literally peeled off of his bottom in sheets. I had never seen
anything like it at that time, and I haven’t since. The pain that he was in was
beyond description. I called the doctor and she changed the antibiotic to yet a
different kind. So he had three different types of antibiotics in his system
within eight days. This episode was the biggie. His gut was never the same
after that. Nothing was.
Here is what everyone should know about
Augmentin: Augmentin has been implicated in autism. It is
comprised of Amoxicillin and clavulanate potassium. When it is manufactured,
the clavulanic acid is fermented which involves large amounts of urea/ammonia. Even
a small amount of ingested ammonia can potentially cause gut and brain
inflammation. I strongly urge you to do your homework before using this drug.
If you will notice in this link, this study
was released in January of 2005. My son was prescribed Augmentin in January of
2006. This was never mentioned when I was handed the prescription. However, if
I had been a Thinker back then, I could have quickly Googled “Augmentin and
autism,” and I would have made a very different decision.
7) Vaccines: I really don’t
even know what to say about vaccines other than to say that if I had it to do
over again, my children wouldn’t have received a single one. Of everything I
did wrong, if I could have my pick of one thing to take back, it would be the
shots. No question. Shortly after my son turned three, we left the idiot
pediatrician that led me down this trail of terror. The new MD looked at my
son’s blood work and heavy metals testing and informed me unequivocally that my
son was vaccine injured and that he had never been a candidate for
immunization. She said that because of my fibromyalgia and the fact that
autoimmune disease and digestive disorders are pervasive across both sides of
our family, he never should have been vaccinated. Add in the birth history and
the fact that he had severe jaundice and a cephalohematoma that took more than
six months to resolve, plus rashes, severe reflux, chronic rhinitis and ear
infections along with eczema, it should have been very apparent that his immune
system was not functioning properly. Vaccination REQUIRES a properly
functioning immune system to work, which may explain why he has ZERO titers to
the diseases he was immunized against. According to the CDC and the vaccine
inserts, children should not be vaccinated if they are sick or on antibiotics.
My son was sick and/or on antibiotics for almost every single round of
vaccinations. People, I know what happened to my kid. I KNOW. I watched it.
Ginger Taylor has been compiling studies for years that link vaccines
to autism. That list has now reached over 60 studies.
Another word—Don’t bother making comments
arguing about vaccines. I won’t post them. I am fully aware that there are
children with autism who weren’t vaccinated. I am not suggesting that vaccines
are solely responsible for every child’s autism. I know, however, that they caused irreparable damage to
my son’s immune system, which ultimately led to his autism. There. Done.
8) Acetaminophen/Paracetamol:
My baby received an incredible amount of this red, liquid death. Acetaminophen
shuts down the production of glutathione, the body’s #1 antioxidant.
Glutathione is absolutely critical in the body’s ability to rid itself of
toxins. So basically, one of the absolute worst things you can do is to give a
baby acetaminophen when they get vaccinations or when their body is trying to
fight an infection. The nurse at my son’s pediatrician’s office literally dosed
him with acetaminophen at the exact moment she stuck in the needle. When the
ear infections and stomach pain and fevers started as a result of the vaccine
damage, I gave him acetaminophen to alleviate his pain. Are you starting to see
how all of these horrors interlace? One problem requires a solution that
creates another problem that requires a solution that creates another problem,
etc. For more information regarding acetaminophen and its link to autism,
click here.
9) Fluoride: Fluoride
probably pisses me off more than anything else on this list, because I am
convinced that the fluoride program is one of the biggest scams ever
perpetrated on a population in the history of mankind. If you ever have some
time and enjoy history, Google “the history of fluoride.” It reads like a Dan
Brown novel and would be completely entertaining, if it weren’t for the fact
that children are being brain-damaged by the very water they drink. I’ll let
you do your own research for the nitty-gritty, but here are the basics:
Fluoride contains fluorine. Fluorine is only slightly less toxic than arsenic
and is more toxic than lead. It is also a carrier molecule. It loves to combine
with other materials and create even more toxic situations. It also can cross
the blood/brain barrier. So if there is circulating aluminum in the body from
say, oh, I don’t know, vaccine adjuvants for instance, or if there is lead in
the joints of water pipes, the fluoride can attach itself to these toxins and
escort them right across the blood/brain barrier and into the brain. According
to the National Research Council, 36 studies have linked fluoride with reduced
IQ in children. Here are some great links to fluoride information:
Here’s the kicker. This is the part where I
bang my head on the table, pull my hair and yell, “Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!”
like Chris Farley on SNL. We didn’t even have fluoridated
water. I actually purchased it and gave it to my son on purpose. My pediatrician told me that he needed it
because our water wasn’t fluoridated. I bought “nursery water” that came in
cute little plastic bottles with pictures of Bert and Ernie and Cookie Monster
on them. I also gave him prescription vitamins—Poly Vi Flor—that contained
fluoride. After all of this, we still ended up with over $4,000 worth of
dental work by the time he was five. This dental work required general
anesthesia that contained—yep, you guessed it—fluoride. Fluoride is also in
many pharmaceuticals, including the antibiotic Cipro–drops used for ear
infections—and Diflucan—the yeast killer we used off and on for years.
How in the hell could I make sure that I didn’t give him toothpaste that had
fluoride in it because it was poisonous, but give him fluoridated water? If you
want a good scare, read the label on a tube of fluoridated toothpaste sometime.
Ingestion of only half a tube of that candy-flavored fluoridated toothpaste
could be fatal to a child, and yet we fluoridate our water supply. It is
criminal in my opinion.
I can think of many more things I did wrong
that I am sure contributed to my son’s health crisis. I will mention diet,
toxic cookware, benzocaine teething gel and toxic building materials but won’t
elaborate because at this point, common sense should dictate. I am writing this
to try to hit the biggies that people really need to research to make better
decisions than I did.
I am already anticipating three different
responses to this post:
Response 1) There will be people who read this
and think, “Good grief, woman. How stupid can you be? What you did borders on
child abuse. Of course your child has
Autism.” And to that, I have no argument. You are absolutely right. And good
for you for knowing better than I did.
Response 2) Some of you will read this and
know exactly how I feel because your story is very similar. To all of you, you
have my deepest, heartfelt sympathy. While we will always have our mistakes to
live with, the best thing we can do now is to share our truth and our story to
help others.
Response 3) There will be people who feel pity
for me because I have not been able to make peace with myself for my role in my
son’s health crisis. You will feel compelled to reach out to me with kind
messages imploring me to forgive myself. Please … don’t. It won’t do any good.
I am not fishing for forgiveness, and while I know you mean well, it won’t help
me. If you really, really want to help, take five
minutes and send this blog to everyone you know—especially those who are
pregnant or have babies. Implore them to read this blog. No child should have
to endure what mine has endured. No mother should ever have to experience the
kind of torturous guilt I live with every day.
The mistakes I made were, by and large,
recommended by healthcare professionals. That is no excuse. My son’s
health was my responsibility. I could
choose to follow the recommendations or not. Even a small bit of research would
have changed the outcome for my son. There are women, as we speak, who are on
the way to the doctor for their second or third ultrasound. There are mothers
dosing their babies with acetaminophen before their shots. There are expectant
moms being hooked up to Pitocin drips. Some moms are administering unnecessary
antibiotics for yet another ear infection and haven’t made the connection that
their baby’s immune system is failing. There are also many, many mothers who
are hearing the following words for the first time, “Your child has autism.”
Help them.
I truly believe that my son’s autism was
preventable. Think. Research. At this point, you can’t afford not to.
