One more male only ritual exposed for the sake of our children.
Until now Nicky's support team at school has been mostly women. They have been perfect nurturers, smart, kind and gentle. This year I decided that "we" women could not, no matter how well trained or intentioned give Nicky his "Man" stuff. This week we got the perfect example of our shortcomings :). His male therapist came to me and said when he pulls his britches down to his knee's at the urinal the other kids laugh at him and it's got to stop". All I could say was "Okay I'll tell everyone". It just happened that we were having a team meeting with his behavioral team the next day. I raised this as a topic of discussion - to the all female team - and it was hysterical. I realized as they starred blankly at me, and explained that they had only potty trained little ones to sit on the toilet, that none of us had a clue into the details of the all male world of the urinal!!!! We didn't know if he was supposed to pull his pants down, or use the hole in the front of his "tighty whities" so we all stared at each other. Finally I said "Okay let's call his school guy who told me this". We called him and he explained the MAN process, starting with a stern "Donna the whole POTTY thing has got to go!. He's too big for you to being saying "POTTY", its restroom. He needs to:
• Go in the Urinal
• Undo the top of his pants - Not pull them down below his bottom
• Grab a hold of "his business"
• Lift "his business" out of his pants and pee.
• Then shake off "His Business" and put it back.
He then said "The problem is that Nicky does not want to touch "his business" (and that's probably because the mama always told him not to touch IT because of all the stories I had been told about our kids masturbating out of control) and he hasn't figured our how to hold up his shirt, and manage "his business" at the same time. But he will get it."
So for all you mom's out there, here's the inside story. One more male only ritual exposed for the sake of our children.
Thanks for this inside story Donna.
ReplyDeleteThat reminded me a discussion I got few years ago with one of my friend when he became a happy dad for the second time. The new arrival was a beautiful boy. So, he was blessed with one of each, a girl and a boy.
We were talking about potty training strategies when he suddenly asked very seriously: "when will he have to pee standing up?". That surprised me as I had never thought about how important this skill was for a boy.
As women, we're not too sure how our boys should do it and men are not too sure when to show their boys how to do it! :)
For my little guy, I'm grateful I had my husband and Dad to show him the way to go about it! Plus, each of them have their own tips :).
To Nicky for his next steps to getting the man's stuff.
Love to you all.
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