2.5 Million Readers Pick Top Posts for 2014

Autism Day By Day - 2.5 Million Readers Pick Top Posts for 2014

What a year! Autism Day by Day became an official National Institute of health resource and more than 2.5 million of you logged onto Autism Day by Day. When the year was over you had unanimously picked the following posts to make up the top 20 reads! Your favorites covered every topic from Bullies to Puberty, Police to Cover Up's at the CDC, Joy of Surfing to Statistics, Employment and what makes us really mad, these are the posts that got your attention.  

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​MIT Reports 1/2 of all US Children will have autism by ..​

http://autismdaybyday.blogspot.com/2014/12/half-of-all-us-children-will-be.html

​A Candid Conversation with A Cop - Be afraid!​

http://autismdaybyday.blogspot.com/2014/12/operation-introduction-conversation.html

​​National PSA address's Autism Related Wandering; Spread the Word!

http://autismdaybyday.blogspot.com/2014/09/help-get-word-out-share-this-psa.html

​Bullies without Boundaries!​

http://autismdaybyday.blogspot.com/2014/09/bullies-without-boundaries-ice-bucket.html

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​Puberty, Part II Managing Masturbation! ​A must read for Moms

http://autismdaybyday.blogspot.com/2014/02/puberty-part-iii-managing-masturbation.html​

11 Ted Talks to a Happier Life! 

http://autismdaybyday.blogspot.com/2014/09/11-talks-to-happier-lifewhy-not.html

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​CDC Vaccine Cover Up Reported

http://autismdaybyday.blogspot.com/2014/09/whistleblower-cdc-covered-up-vaccines.html

​Disney Faces More Heat in Autism Lawsuits ​

http://autismdaybyday.blogspot.com/2014/09/disney-faces-more-heat-as-autistic-kids.html

​A Must See Video!  Autism + Surfing = Pure Joy!​

http://autismdaybyday.blogspot.com/2014/08/autism-and-surfing-must-see-video-of.html

​Police and Autism a Dangerous Mix​

http://autismdaybyday.blogspot.com/2014/08/police-and-autism-dangerous-mix-police.html

​​​Autism Online Job Board​

http://autismdaybyday.blogspot.com/2014/06/online-job-board-for-applicants-with.html

Disney Law Suit​

http://autismdaybyday.blogspot.com/2014/04/disney-parks-refutes-lawsuit-claiming.html

There may soon be a way to genetically test children for ASD

http://autismdaybyday.blogspot.com/2014/04/news-alert-there-may-soon-be-way-to.html

​Why "Retarded Needs to Be Retired"​

http://autismdaybyday.blogspot.com/2014/03/why-retarded-deserves-to-be-retired.html

​Employment Improves Autism Symptoms​

http://autismdaybyday.blogspot.com/2014/03/employment-may-lead-to-improvement-in.html

​Autism and Meditation - A good mix! ​

http://autismdaybyday.blogspot.com/2014/03/highlights-from-autism-meditation.html

2 Teen Girls Sexually and Physically Assault 16 Year Old Boy with Autism

You know those fears we have deep down for our kids, the stories we fear are happening, the things we know can happen and we just pray they will not happen to our family, our children. This is a big one of those. I've written a lot about puberty and my concerns about Nick's potentially inappropriate behaviors, and I've had parents with developmentally disabled children share stories about the ways their child is managing exploration, inappropriate touching  to full on sexual abuse, and it's almost always upsetting. At the same time, I experience a secret sign of relief when the sexual abuse, didn't turn into the kind of physical violence that kills. Because there is a part of me that fears people who abuse our kids in these dark ways, think so little of them and are so aware of how easy it is to abuse them, and care so little for them crossing this line would not be hard to do. When I talk about how critical inclusion is, how we have to keep our kids in general education settings, and active in our communities, introducing our neighbors to our children it's because it's up to us to educate the community to make sure people know our children are precious and loved because people are still the best safety net we have. 

Two teenage girls in southern Maryland bullied an apparently autistic 16-year-old boy into performing sexual acts and crashing through pond ice in episodes they captured on cellphone video, authorities said Wednesday.

The girls, ages 17 and 15, threatened the teen with a knife, kicked him in the groin and dragged him around by his hair, said St. Mary's County Sheriff's Office Sgt. Cara Grumbels. They coerced him into walking on a partially frozen pond and then refused to help him out of the frigid water, she said.

Grumbles said the boy got out himself, but the prank could have turned deadly.

"You're dealing with somebody who doesn't have the mental capacity of you and I," she said. "Somebody like that could go into a kiddie pool and may not be able to get themselves out. That's what's really kind of disturbing to us, among the other allegations in this case. The whole thing's just very disturbing."

She said investigators haven't found any of the video online.

The 17-year-old, Lauren A. Bush, of Mechanicsville, was charged as an adult Tuesday with first- and second-degree assault, false imprisonment and solicitation for child pornography. She was released on her own recognizance.

The 15-year-old was charged as a juvenile with the same offenses and referred to the state Department of Juvenile Services. The sheriff's office didn't release her name.

Grumbles said both girls acknowledged they committed the offenses. A call to Bush's home wasn't returned. No defense

attorney was listed in court records.

Grumbles said the boy's parents told police he is autistic and police described him as having "diminished mental capacity."

She said all three teens attended Chopticon High School in Morganza.

Police learned of what happened from a parent of the younger girl who had seen the video on her daughter's phone, Grumbles said. The parent showed it to a sheriff's deputy who works in the school, she said.

Grumbels said there is no evidence other students joined the bullying.

She said more charges are likely as investigators list offenses for each episode that authorities say occurred from early December to early February.

Puberty Part III - Managing Masturbation "Go Squish In Your Room" Is Working!!!

"Go Squish In Your Room" Is Working!!!  

Continuing on the topic of puberty, specifically as it relates to my son and his private parts; I'm happy to report that our strategy to contain a certain behavior to a designated place is working!  If you've not faced the upset of inappropriate behavior in public with your kids, this may not seem like a big deal, and I get it. However this has not been the case for me. This aspect of puberty has been very upsetting for me and my family and finding a solution feels like a giant victory. We not just solved the problem of this moment, we've created a self management skill that will help to keep him safe for a lifetime. 

This is the plan we put into place after deciding the school bathroom was not where Nick could respond to his hormone driven urges :).

Operation SQUISH

Step one: Give the behavior a name.
We named it "Squishing" because pillows tend to be involved.

Step two: Create a safe and acceptable place for "Squishing", all the while treating Nick with respect.
We choose his bedroom, with the door closed.

Step three:  Introduce the term.
In our case Nick was open for touching his privates anytime and anyplace. So teaching him the name for it was easy. Every time he began the behavior we named it, by saying "No Squishing" if we were out of the house or "If you want to Squish, go to your room" if we were at home.

Step four:  Implement the Rule.
The rule is "Squishing in your room only with the door closed". As soon as we knew Nick understood the rule, we began by prompting him whenever we saw him begin the behavior "If you need to Squish please go to your room".

Step four: Drop the Prompt.
Three weeks after introducing it Nick began asking to go to his room. We didn't instantly know it was because he wanted to go Squish, but we figured it out pretty quick. He was implementing the rule on his own, and we were able to drop the prompt.

Now with an occasional reminder and he's totally self managing!!! Yippee.

Good luck moms and dads!

FYI...Mom's don't look up Managing Masturbation in Google as a way to get more info! You'll find out really fast the shocking power of the internet. Stick with terms like Special Needs and Sexual Education. :)

Sex Ed Missing For People With Autism Spectrum Disorder

I was listening to a 30 something man with high functioning autism and I felt a profound sadness when he shared this simple truth ...

“Sometimes I feel pretty lonely. I like to drink tea and sometimes tea is meant for sharing.".

       

My focus for the last 13 years has been on whatever stage of the process Nick was in. 

First it was early diagnosis and his health then early intervention, then inclusion, proper school settings. Most recently I'm thinking about surviving puberty, community safety, housing and employment related things. Sexuality was on my mind as it related to puberty, inappropriate behaviors and keeping him safe - but not so much in terms of sexuality and relationship building. 

I've had mom's mention getting Nick in a sex ed class and I consciously took no action because I thought it was inappropriate, over his head, out of his sphere of interest and understanding. But hearing this man speak was just one more shift, one more bonk on the head, one more reminder of my limited thinking when it comes to seeing Nick as a complete person, in this case a complete man. 

This is definitely another example of Nick's future being impacted by my limitations, more than his. Okay, seems a special ed class is in our future. Still feels funny. I've gotta get over it. 

If you're on this part of the journey here's some info I found.  If I had any doubt that I was slow to the party this website confirmed it!

http://www.autismsexeducation.com/

Puberty: Boundaries & Impulse Control; From Boy to Man...Seems the Greatest Challenges Lie Ahead

Baby things are
irresistible to Nick!

"After years of therapy and programs it comes down to this for Nick; boundaries and impulse control. These are the two most important things for him to master now, or everything else community goes off the table."


I was in Costco pushing my cart through check out when Nick walked away. I looked up to see where he was, and my eyes went right to a mom clutching her baby protectively to her chest. Her frightened eyes were fixed  on Nick saying "Who are you?! Don't touch my baby!" My first instinct was to protect my baby, and give that mom a piece of my mind and perform an on the spot sensitivity training. Topped off by letting her know what a small person she was for not understanding that Nick was my baby, a vulnerable harmless kid with a disability and not the threat she was envisioning!!

Then it hit me, I know that look. It's the protective mom look we all have that isn't' conscious, it is pure instinct. Every mom's had that look. In that instant my heart and mind shifted, and it only took seconds for me to look around and piece together what was "really" happening.  Her baby was dressed as one of Nicks favorite things, Winnie the Pooh. Nick no doubt had rushed up on her cart, excited to see Pooh, and the mom didn't see a special needs kid, she saw a grown man rushing up to her baby and she was truly frightened.  I related to the frightened look on mom's face. I'd seen it before on my own face so many times. I remember how protective of my babies I was (and still am) and there's nothing rational about it. We feel a threat and we react.

Seems I've mellowed or grown up a bit, because the feeling inside me to puff up my chest and go toe to toe with the mom subsided as quickly as it flared up. Gone was my desire to make her see my point of view, have her apologize for thinking my kid was a threat, and my need to make her out to be an ignorant person who was mean to a special boy evil eye wasn't totally gone, but it was brief.  I took a deep breath and saw her side. I understood. Her reaction was perfect. The challenge, the responsibility was mine, not hers.

The transformation of my son from being a boy, to being a man is so fast I can't keep up. I don't' know about anyone else, but no matter how prepared I try to be, I'm still being caught off guard. Nick may be my baby, but in the eyes of the world, standing at 5'7" 175 lbs he is a man. And today he was a man who just ran up on a baby, and that's frightening. As much as he's my child this is not the time to be naïve and being right is not going to be very useful. No matter my personal views I have to protect him by facing the facts; no matter how special, adorable, good, kindhearted he is, he is also a man who has not yet learned boundaries and impulse control and that can get him in terrible trouble.

After years of therapy and programs it comes down to this for Nick; boundaries and impulse control. I've been talking about it for a while as I've watched Nick's progress and growth. These are the two most important things for him to master now, or everything else community goes off the table. If I knew 10 years ago how long these skills took to teach, to generalize, I would have made it a priority sooner. But, then again we've always been focusing on what seemed to be the priority at the time.

So last night I prayed.....
God help us and protect him.
Keep Nick safe in a world where he doesn't understand the rules.
Help me to be the best mom I can be.
Help me to teach him all he needs to know.
Help others to have kind hearts.
Keep him safe, please.

Puberty: Time Out for Touching??!!!

Alert to moms raising teen boys, here’s a candid tidbit about puberty.  I just learned something, and just in case I’m the only one who didn't know, please don’t laugh too loud!  In my own defense I’m a single mom, who was raised by a single mom. I have no brothers and we didn't have family gatherings complete with lots of boys and girls so I confess I've got information gaps. 

My son is 15 and he has become very aware, if not enamored with his private parts. He rubs up against people, pushes pillows or stuffed toys into his groin, and has no problem putting his hands there anytime anywhere. Last week we were in a restaurant, he went at it, and I mixed one part humor with one part frustration and said “If you don’t stop it, I’m going with the "You’ll go blind line”. YES, I did go there. Not to worry, he was too preoccupied to hear me, but his sister laughed, defended him and then tapped him in the arm to make him stop. 

Yesterday we had a team meeting with Nick's behavior support team and puberty was a key topic. When some of the team determined that Nick should be able to take breaks and go to the bathroom upon request, I freaked out! I’m thinking OH NO YOU DON"T!  All I could think - as a mom - was, I do not want him being encouraged to participate in what they were so politely calling “release” behavior at school, or anywhere besides his own room or bathroom. This is private, and should not be encouraged in any public setting, even a bathroom stall. I was freaking out, my mind raced with stories of our kids and obsessions with pornography  and scenarios where he would be "releasing" and someone would walk in, call him a pervert and he would get hauled off to lord knows where. And what are we encouraging - I want him to learn control not permission!!!

But when I voiced my opinion and my concern that we were encouraging behavior that I thought could get him in trouble, and send the wrong message; the men in the meeting looked at me like I was crazy. They were not happy!  They said I was dead wrong.  I thought I was making perfect sense, and I fought back. This began a detailed dialog full of tings I never knew, most enlightening was it seems boys at this age get aroused all the time and no sexual stimuli is required. I thought girls and other exciting things caused the erections, but I've been corrected it’s not just about girls, women or sex stuff. Rather their bodies go on a kind of auto pilot, and erections happen anytime and anywhere. Seems this is the age with it really has a mind of its own.  So the guys consider it a non-sexual body function at this age. They said they have to release it, and if they don’t bad things happen. They said in my guys case if we don’t let him, or create an opportunity for him to, he will just get frustrated and agitated and in time instead of getting  the result we are looking for which is control, or his ability to control himself  we will get a kid who’s frustrated which could result in all kinds of increased negative behaviors.  So we let's the men lead on this one. However, I will be shifting the focus of his program to impulse control!   Here’s the plan we implemented after this heated debate:

Puberty:

The team has discussed appropriate times of the day and appropriate places for  NJ to have his own time or private time.  The team agreed to be consistent with using appropriate language with NJ by stating private time or I need my own time.  The team agreed to redirect NJ to his bedroom and to use the top bed of his bunk bed for his own time.  The team agreed to give NJ 10-15 minutes before he is given a transition signal to get ready to begin his homework and chores.  The team agreed to give NJ his space and to NOT enter his bedroom.  The team agreed to give verbal prompts or transition signals outside of NJ’s bedroom by standing in the hallway. 

At school, NJ will be given time to use the restroom and will be given extra time if he has a bowel movement.  The team will redirect NJ to use his own time at home and not at school.  The team is also working with NJ on keeping his hands to himself and to keep an appropriate distance with others, especially women.  The team agreed to have a zero tolerance for this at school and in the home setting.  NJ will be redirected to step away and will be given time to himself to think about his choices.  The BII will redirect NJ to explain what happened and if it was an appropriate choice or not.  He will then be asked to explain why.  NJ will not earn free choice at the end of the day for grabbing or pulling himself into others while he is at school or in the community. 

He has a Girlfriend!!?.

Yep, here he is just hanging out with the cool kids!

Wow! I just got this picture from his aid at school. The caption read "He has a Girlfriend".  My heart dropped into my stomach. No, she's never been over to visit, they don't hang out after school. No, I don't think they are going to the Prom - at least not this year, but he sure looks good and wow does he have good taste! 

ASD & Puberty Part II - “Parents, Part of the Problem, or the Solution?”

He's so big!!!

For all of you who thought my post on puberty "Boys without Boundaries" helped you, I have to share that it was perhaps an even greater help to me!  It was like letting go of a secret.  I've always believed that what we can’t put to words, we can’t put rest. We have to talk about things to really process them. Telling you the truth made it possible for me to process and let go of some of the shame, embarrassment, inadequacy and fear that shows up for me as I watch my boy become a man in a world where he doesn't fit.  

For the umpteenth time it was up to me to get out of the way, and be part of the solution not the emotional mom who unwittingly, and with all good intentions had become part of the problem. (I hate that!)  Here's what is; Nick is Nick  he doesn't see the world the way I do. I have to constantly remind myself that I can't superimpose my emotions on him!  Once I acknowledged it was my feelings, ideas, and issues keeping me from doing what’s best for Nick  things started to change. I pushed past my stuff and started talking about it, and asking more people for help.  And perhaps most important of all I started asking the questions I really didn't want to hear the answers too, but knew ignorance wasn't going to make it go away. 

As of today, none of his behaviors have changed, in fact in some ways they are worse. Puberty and how fast he's growing is playing a role in how he responds to medication, so he's way less focused, frustrated and not sleeping so good. We're working our way through it.   

On the upside, I've found that if I prepare myself and frame the really difficult conversations in clinical talk or humor or pretend I'm not really taking about my family, I can talk about the tough stuff.  This is good because our team is having direct conversations and as a result I've asked that they point out when I'm treating him like my baby, and not like the man he is becoming.  None of it's comfortable, and I’m still not ready for him to grow up. I’m just moving on the path of accepting there’s not a darn thing I can do about it. 

I’ll keep you posted. 

Puberty: Advice from a Reader

Thanks Chantal for joining the conversation and sharing your "dead on" knowledge and your resources!  This is not an easy topic for any of us, but the only way we'll get through it and help our kids is with support and information. Thanks for  giving me both! 

Chantals Comment: 
Donna, Thank you for so bravely sharing stuff that all of us moms go through, single or not!! We've all been there or are there with inappropriate behaviors !! I'm going to be frank (I'm known for it) I hope you don't mind - but I need to say that these inappropriate behaviors really need to be nipped in the bud for his safety. I know you are trying to avoid them, but taking a step further is necessary. There is the potential risk of abuse and also when he turns 18 if he so much as touches a person in public and the person feels threatened, he may be in trouble with the police. Happens, sadly, all too often. Easier to teach him not to do this when he is smaller than at age 18! You can teach him not to look or touch other people's bodies normally covered by a bathing suit (use a visual). Also you can teach hm the meaning of Public and Private and what that means using icons (see http://www.examiner.com/article/autism-and-adolescence-101-how-do-i-teach-my-teen-the-concept-of-private on Part 1 -"Boys without Boundaries" ASD & Puberty

Part 1 -"Boys without Boundaries" ASD & Puberty

One Resource 

Disclaimer... This is one of those topics that needs to be told just like it happened, exactly as it unfolded. That said, if you're super squeamish you may want to close the screen now. 

__________________________________________________

However, if you're a single mom with a son on the spectrum, you might want to take one for the team and read this anyway. This is not an easy topic for me to talk about; I will rely on humor (even bad humor) to get me through. So whether you laugh, cry, get confirmation you're not alone, read out of curiosity or thank God this isn't what you're going through thanks for taking the time. 

Please send feedback and let's continue the conversation together! 

Installment number one looks at the reality of raising "Boys without Boundaries"

Top 5 most inappropriate things that were too embarrassing for me to say, until now:

l. Sometimes I see Nicky looking at me, out of the corner of his eyes with his head tilted, with a sly look. A look like I'm a steak and he hasn't eaten in a week! The "Oh this is just wrong" feeling is overwhelming.  

2. Sometimes, when I'm just standing around, or bending over, say to get something out of the refrigerator, he comes up behind me and pushes his groin into me.  So, not cool!! When it first started I was a combination of mortified and embarrassed so I went to my fall back position, denial and prayer. I told myself it was nothing, just a random thing and then I prayed no one saw it. That worked until about the 30th time he did it and until he got bigger than I am, now he's looks like a man and it's kinda hard to miss. So I've learned to always be on the lookout, get out of the way and stand my ground. Now I can give the   "Not Cool, Back Off!" look and he knows what I mean. 

3. He's obsessed with belly's as in stomach's. Any belly, on any body, he likes to put his ear to bellies and hug bellies. There are no limits to who he will ask to "hug belly?": boys, girls, women, men, toys, dogs, cows,  ducks and STRANGERS. On one of our visits to Sea World he asked if he could "Hug Whale's Belly". Really???  Clearly he doesn't get it, I mean how would you hug Shamu's belly?  I can't take my eyes off him because at any time I could find him hugging some unsuspecting strangers belly! 

4. The only physical obsession more embarrassing than "Hug Belly" is his obsession with my tush. I've been known to wake up and find him in my room slyly sneaking his hand under the covers so he can touch by rear or put his ear on it..so not right!  But wait, there is good news. This is the only time I can think of that Nick's language deficits work in our favor, he calls my tush and my belly "Belly". This is so great, because when we're in public and he say's "Hug Belly" they never think he means hug tush. Thank you God!

5. When Nicky get's excited he jumps up and down. At age 14 he gets excited about a lot of things,

girls, animals, toys, books and when he does, things happen.  Clearly for Nicky excitement is connected to arousal and it is not limited to teenage girls!. Hard to explain in the grocery story or petting zoo!

Until Nicky I never thought about how much humans like boundaries and behaviors they're familiar with. Nick cross's those boundaries and people (nice people, family, friends) respond with intense negative emotions, they flinch or glare and sometimes I see genuine fear or disgust in their eyes. It's a terrible feeling, to see someone respond to your child this way, and they are not wrong.  That is why there is a giant upside to coming out of denial: I always know when he's thinking, contemplating a move, preparing to pounce and I can scoop him up just before he cross's the line! May not sound like much but it's a big deal to me and I feel like I'm protecting all of us.

 Here are a few books I found for those who want to do some research. There's more if you Google Autism and puberty 

Oh, the things that you happen when they grow! So, what about you? What's your story? 

Boys, Autism & Grooming: This mom says “Yes Yes” to the “No No!” Goodbye Hairy Kiddo!

I confess.  I’m not ready for my son to have hair on his face and I’m not okay with the idea of him shaving every day!  He has enough social challenges and I don’t think tiny pieces of toilet paper stuck to his face blotting up blood from razor nicks will win him any points in the world! 

I’ve been staring at his peach fuzz for months as part of my ongoing, “He’s growing wayyyy toooo fast", freak out and I am certain shaving is not for him, at least right now. Let’s face it – no pun intended – mustaches can get out of control and they are not always cool!

That said I’m adding Nick to the millions who have said “NO!” to unwanted hair. Yep, I am going to go “No No” over the traditional razor!  Now that I think about it, Nicky has been saying “No, No” to just about everything lately, maybe he’s already seen the infomercial or maybe he saw these pictures and thought, "If only they had a 'No! No!' "

In all seriousness, I think the No! No! Hair Removal system seems like a much safer and realistic alternative for our young men.  

I’ll let you know how it goes. If any of you have already tried it, please let me know how it worked for you?

                                    ****

   According to my Google search results on "Teens and mustaches" the girls will thank me :). 

What do girls think about teens with moustache? - Yahoo! Answers  Top answer: The only teenagers who like mustaches are the boys who grow them. Girls prefer smooth, clean shaven skin. How would you feel kissing someone ...

Urban Dictionary: Dirty Teen Mustache www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?...Dirty%20Teen%20Mustach. That mustache is gross. A Dirty Teen Mustache is a mustache that some teenagers thinks looks cool on them, but it doesn't. It's like the kid isn't meant to have a mustache...

  

 

Porn-Induced Headaches...is this what I have to look forward to?

For those of you who don’t have boys with DD’s you may not know I’ve been repeatedly warned about our kiddos, computers and porn.  We may not talk about it, but I for one  worry the day …this possibility pops into reality.  I’ll never forget the time my little man at age 9 – the computer wiz he is – was typing his favorite things into the web browser,  ABC’s and Animals. I turned to see he had stumbled onto a bestiality website!!!! I leaped across the room in a panic to shut off the computer. I've yet to erase the image from my mind…can’t imagine what he thought…LOL.  My little man has yet to intentionally seek out porn, but according to this study, if he begins complaining of headaches I may have to add ibuprofen & acetaminophen to his medication regimen….OMG.

Man Plagued by Porn-Induced Headaches

By KATIE MOISSE (@katiemoisse)

June 29, 2012

A man plagued by porn-induced headaches has to take painkillers 30 minutes before watching the X-rated movies, according to a case study. a The unnamed "unmarried male software professional," 24, complained of "severe, exploding" headaches that developed gradually and peaked 10 minutes into the sexy scenes.

"Progressively, he started to refrain from viewing videos as a means of avoiding headaches," researchers from Guru Gobind Singh Indraprastha University in New Delhi, India, wrote in the case study published in the June issue of Archives of Sexual Behavior.

The cause of the man's ill-timed headaches, triggered only by porn and not by sex or masturbation, is unclear.

"This guy is interesting because he's just watching porn and not actually having sex," said Dawn Buse, associate professor of neurology at Albert Einstein College of Medicine and director of behavioral medicine at theMontefiore Headache Center in New York. "But he probably still gets aroused and excited, which may be even worse than having sex because there's no release."

Buse said about 1 percent of the population -- mostly males -- get headaches associated with sexual activity. But even arousal can cause changes in muscle tension, nerve sensitivity and blood flow in the brain that boost the perception of pain, she said.

"It makes sense," she said. "There's definitely blood pumping through his head and his body."

Like exercise-induced headaches, sex headaches are nothing more than a nuisance, easily negated with non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, Buse said. But in rare cases, the pain can signal something more serious, like a brain tumor or an aneurysm.

"If someone has a stiff neck, dizziness or confusion along with the pain, they should talk to a doctor," Buse said.

The man, ready to abandon his porn-watching ways, was instead advised to take 400 milligrams of ibuprofen and 500 milligrams of acetaminophen 30 minutes in advance, to which, according to the study, "he reported significant pain relief."