Rejection is Unbearable! Where Do Teens With Autism Go? The Reality for mid functioning teens with ASD.

Today I feel so sad and discouraged. Lately every door I fight to open for Nick gets closed. Seems the answer is the same wherever I go. Church camp Summer Retreat, "NO", 

 Vocational School, "NO", Summer Camp...just kicked out. He's just not, well "enough".  Not independent enough, not behaved enough, not spiritual enough.


 


Nick is not high functioning when it comes to socialization, and he's not low functioning. When frustrated he might go along, or he might tantrum. He might go months without a single community outburst, but if he has one, it's back to the drawing board. It's like all progress has been erased in the eyes of the world. It's just not enough.

He's an in-between, and there is not place for "in-betweens". No where is there a bridge that takes him from here to there. But I am not willing to settle.  

Nick's First Trip to Overnight Camp!! Pictures & Tears....

This is one happy Kid!!!

Nick's first time at overnight camp! Actually it was the first time in 17 years he had been away from home overnight without us, except to be in the hospital. The reason's why, we all know :(.  When he was gone NO ONE CALLED me it was crazy, he really was without me!!! That brought up an odd combo of  "No news is good news", Joy,  and discomfort because I was disconnected. DISCONNECTED for the first time ever. He was okay with out me. And boy was it worth it! Now I'm crying as I look at my happy  guy, who did this! Thanks to Annabeth, Luis and my church family for making this happen. We love you!

 THE END!

Best States for "Aging Out"; From Promoting Independence and Productivity to Quality of LIfe

Seems to me California would do pretty good for 2 - 6 year olds. Then we drop a notch from 11 to 15, and another drop from16 to 18. Then we plumet to the bottom of the list when our kids "age out" between 19 and 22.  Sad there's so little in place in California for our young adults. 

Self Driving Cars Mean Independence for People with Disabilities

I’m so excited about this!!! I'm thinking this could represent the greatest breakthrough toward independence for so many people with disabilities.  Nissan is not the only player in the game, other co.’s are working on this too…so exciting!

Nissan shifts self-driving car R&D to Silicon Valley

By Sam Byford on February 18, 2013 11:20 pm Email @345triangle

DON'T MISS ANY STORIES FOLLOW THE VERGE

Nissan has opened a new advanced research center in Sunnyvale, California that will specialize in self-driving and connected cars. Speaking to Bloomberg, the company's senior vice president for North American R&D Carla Bailo said that the facility will have over 60 engineers and technicians in the next three years, and that the move from Japan to Silicon Valley is about shifting Nissan's work "to the heart of the industry." The company opened a Mountain View research office in 2011, but the new center indicates that the company plans to make significant investments in automated vehicle technology.

"WE’RE GOING TO FOCUS ON THIS TECHNOLOGY REALLY IN THE HEART OF WHERE IT LIES TODAY."

Other car companies have already set up base in the Valley: Toyota and Volkswagen both work on infotainment systems in the region, and of course Google's self-driving car initiative is minutes away in Mountain View. Nissan also plans to tap the resources of Stanford University's automotive labs as well as the University of California's Berkeley and Davis campuses. According to Bailo, the company expects work from the new research center to show up in products within ten years.http://www.theverge.com

"How Did You Build A Good Team and Get Your Son What He Needs"

After this conversation with a mom of a 9 year old, my friend asked me to post the conversation (or to at least try) so here goes.

 I was approached by a mom who said “I’m angry and frustrated.  Every school I take my son to there’s a teacher or administrator who doesn’t want him there and it hurts. I’ve been accused of wanting everything for my “special” child, while taking funds and attention that should be going to the other kids.  I’ve been denied services, I’ve been treated like the bad guy when all I want is for my child to have an opportunity to be the best he can be and to benefit from the supports he is entitled to. IEP’s are a nightmare, I feel all by myself and I’m so tired of battling people. You have a great team how did you get there?

Response: 

I have been where you are and I didn’t get where I am now overnight but over time. Over years;

·           I educated myself about the systems of care and their rules – including who the decision makers were. (I was wasting a lot of energy on folks who only had the power to say “no” not "yes")

·           I realized that I had the power to not sign an IEP no matter how much people pressured me. 

·           I stopped shooting the messengers - this may of been one of the hardest things to do.

·           I began valuing everyone who worked with my child and letting them each know how much I appreciated them.

·           I realized that part of my child’s success at a school depended on how people felt about me, so I became aware of how important it was to treat everyone with respect – even when we disagreed.

·           I did not gossip or complain to others on the school campus or in groups.

·           I learned how to ask “If we do not agree, what are my rights?  How do I dispute your position/finding, how do I transfer schools,  how do you suggest we move forward to resolve this in a way that is best for my child?....lot's of questions with as little blame as I could muster. 

·           I made myself part of the solution by showing up at school, offering support to teachers and other parents.

·           I embraced the old saying “You can catch more flys with honey than with vinegar”. 

·           I opened myself to compromise.

·           I learned to identify people who wanted to help me and I worked with those people when I needed support.

·           I learned  to listen, without looking angry and without being ready with my next response before they finished talking.

·           I  reminded myself of something I forgot during all of my adversarial battles: people get into education, not for the big bucks but because they wanted to teach or help kids, not to hurt them. With this I began seeing the system as allies to be nurtured and not an enemy to be overcome.

·           I started to believe that things were going to be okay. Different, but okay.

'Wow"...Is Nicky Flirting?

Nicky went into the office in his school, sat down with his aid and began staring at some senior girls.
His aid noticed, and said "Nicky, it's not polite to stare. You need to introduce yourself, say hello".

Nicky stood up and walked slowly toward the three girls. His eyes were focused on the pretty girl
in the middle. He walked slowly and as he got closer he began to tilt his head to the side to get a good
look into her face. He slowly got very very close, where with his head cocked and his eyes wide open focused on her, he let our a long breath and said "Wooow", straightened his head and walked away.

Everyone laughed and the girl said "That's the nicest thing any boy has ever said to me!"

Nicky spent the rest of the day hiding his face in his hands when she attempted to talk to him. He's clearly shy!

What a perfect inclusion experience :)