Thursday, June 25, 2009
Evyn Left for Japan Today
Today has been an emotional day. Two icons passed away, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. And, totally unrelated, but emotional for me, today is the day my girl left for Japan. I always viewed Michael as fragile, but didn't expect him to die so suddenly. Farrah's struggle with cancer unfortunately was not just her battle, but put out for the tabloids to exploit, connecting everyone to her pain on some level. The whole day was surreal. Now it’s 8:30. I’ve put Nicky to bed, and I feel the emptiness of not having Evyn here. There is no one to talk to about the events of the day. Even if she was here and doing the teen thing, barricaded in her room, I would be listening for her, cooking for her, telling her "No more snacks,” or reminding her to go to bed, to clean up behind herself. I would have something to do. There’s nothing to do.
• I’m not prepared for the job or the noise to end at 8:30.
• I don’t know what to do with myself.
• I don’t know how to relax – unless it's scheduled.
• Just sitting and watching TV or reading feels weird.
• I feel disoriented, out of place.
• I feel alone.
Is this my introduction to the “Empty Nest” or does it just take a while to change routines?