Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Autism - Day by Day: What about the "typical kids" the siblings?

This week I had three parents ask "How's your daughter? How do you keep her okay? How does she feel about her brother? and I remembered this post and thought I should put it up again. When I got real and accepted the fact that it's not fair, the guilt got a little smaller. My daughter drew the short straw in childhood when it comes to attention. Her brother needs more attention and he gets it. I don't tell her it's okay, I acknowledge it's a rotten set up, it sucks and I'm sorry. It will never be balanced. I also take the time to talk about the price her brother pays for a life, with all this attention. He will never have freedom, he will never have her life. He will never experience the joys of independence that she has only begun to taste. He will always, to some degree, be in this same space. Then I trust, I know, she will understand in time. .....here's a post that shares the suggestions I was given to help my daughter deal with life as a sibling.  Autism - Day by Day: What about the "typical kids" the siblings?: "What about the 'typical kids' the siblings? Experts say the siblings are affected in many ways including: 1. They sometimes feel guilty th..."

4 comments:

  1. htnkas for shariign i wish i couldda shared htis wit my motherh growing up, i causued a lot of probs cuz i needed a lot of attention, yet there was my brothere with severe adhd, who had ltos of trnatums due to me, then my other brother who grew up so fastt.. and my fahtehr who worked his butt off 247 so we could try soo mandy different diets, new ideas, new wya sof helping me, payin for a million docotor visits. i can remmeber tjimes everyboody wanted to go tubing, but i couldntn nor understnad, nor be left alone in a tubee, my father went out spent 400-500dolalrs ona spinnin tornado tube cuuz i love to spin so i could actualaly join tubing,,, or when we'd all go jet skiing adn id sit there on the ground tantruming screamin wit no wordds, as my brothwrs would use the standd up jet ski like a pro and i couldtne ven understand how to sit still on a sit down jet ski so he saved up big buckska dn got a specialized sit down/stand up jet ski to teach u how to jet ski and enventually learn howot to stand up on it,,, it was harder then the sit downn but it did get me use to sittin ona jetk ski and allow a jet ski ride until one day i learnned to driv eit myself after nonstop picture, one on one, buying crazy jet skis that are speicifically made for a person, doin antyhing to get me to join the world that surrounded me. i feel horrible my brothers would sit there and my oen borther would retreat to his room a alot, but always came in the end to hug me, kiss me tell me i have more then most ppl know, or my othhr pbrother who was constantly embarrassed as id strip my clothes, bite ppl, hide ppls keys, watch shows such as muppet babies, and repeat words over and doaver as theyd ask em questions and the same word was repeated constnatly cuz thas all that went rhough my mind, as his friends would come over and i would run and climb on them bite them, roll on the ground, as he began tor esent me as my parents would beg himt ot take me out to a football game to get me use to the world around me, as he jus wish i didnt exist, as i would bolt it any direction and or try to get out of the moving car. readdin all of what u wrote reminded me of what my brotherhs went through. i can tell u one thing and maybe for otherhr parents out there, my oldest brotherhw ho is no longer alive became one of the most heart warming, strongest minded person ever with such acompassion it wa sunbelievable, my other brother never ever givess up, and can literally handle anything that comes his way,,, i do believe in some small waysys being there sister attributedd to both of thattt. My brother and i still arentn as close as si wish but he always textss and says hes always a text away an emaila way and now tells everybody his sisters is autisitc,and is more proudd. Id do anything if could go bakc in tiem and jus take soem fo my bheaviors away jsu to make it easier esp for my brotherss. Thanks for sharirin tho!!! ur a greatt motherr, never forget that!!!

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