Here's the blog one of the actors below will perform tonight:
Kindness vs Cruelty, Autism Awareness is Improving
Autism awareness is improving and I'm getting used to people's kindness instead of cruelty.
Awareness is an incredible thing. For most of the ten years since Nicky was diagnosed people's gazes and comments toward Nicky and I have been less than kind. It became routine to get hurtful looks sent in my direction to pass along messages like; "Really...lady, can't you control your kid?", "Do you have to be so mean?", "What kind of an idiot let's their kid do that?" and the most painful of all "Why don't you and your kid just leave so we can get on with our day?". A little less common were the people, so sure of themselves that they went beyond the looks to tell me exactly what they were thinking. Some of my favorites "You really should teach your child how to act", "A good spanking and he would really do better", "Can you please control your child", "Does he really belong here?".
Then every now and then someone would approach me, I would cringe expecting the judgement, and something kind would come out of their mouth. Three years ago was the a lady came up to me following a public Nicky breakdown and said "My sister has a son with the same thing and you really did a good job". This was the first time a stranger in the community, could see how hard Nicky and I were working, and took the time to say something kind, I cried.
People are recognizing autism and now show kindness. Yesterday a stranger approached me and said "You are really a good mom. You really do a good job with him". This was the first time I was approached and my body did not tense up in preparation to hear something bad. It felt so great to think about how much it means to everyone living with ASD that people understand, and can now express kindness instead of anger.
Awareness is an incredible thing. For most of the ten years since Nicky was diagnosed people's gazes and comments toward Nicky and I have been less than kind. It became routine to get hurtful looks sent in my direction to pass along messages like; "Really...lady, can't you control your kid?", "Do you have to be so mean?", "What kind of an idiot let's their kid do that?" and the most painful of all "Why don't you and your kid just leave so we can get on with our day?". A little less common were the people, so sure of themselves that they went beyond the looks to tell me exactly what they were thinking. Some of my favorites "You really should teach your child how to act", "A good spanking and he would really do better", "Can you please control your child", "Does he really belong here?".
Then every now and then someone would approach me, I would cringe expecting the judgement, and something kind would come out of their mouth. Three years ago was the a lady came up to me following a public Nicky breakdown and said "My sister has a son with the same thing and you really did a good job". This was the first time a stranger in the community, could see how hard Nicky and I were working, and took the time to say something kind, I cried.
People are recognizing autism and now show kindness. Yesterday a stranger approached me and said "You are really a good mom. You really do a good job with him". This was the first time I was approached and my body did not tense up in preparation to hear something bad. It felt so great to think about how much it means to everyone living with ASD that people understand, and can now express kindness instead of anger.
Thanks Cedering for including one of our stories in Acts of Love.
Join us for the eighth annual star-studded Acts of Love. An ensemble cast will perform an array of readings and quotes all in celebration of triumphs in the autism community. Our honoree is Jason Katims, executive producer of "Parenthood."
Phil Abrams (Parenthood, The Island)
Amy Brenneman (Private Practice, Judging Amy)
Connie Britton (Friday Night Lights, Spin City)
Tim Daily (Wings, Private Practice)
Christopher Gorham (Harper's Island, Ugly Betty)
Lauren Graham (Parenthood, Gilmore Girls)
Peter Krause (Parenthood, The Truman Show)
Donal Logue (Terriers, Blade)
Mary McDonnell (Battlestar Galactica, Donnie Darko)
Alyssa Milano (Charmed, Melrose Place)
Mark Moses (Mad Men, Desperate Housewives)
Craig T. Nelson (Parenthood, Coach)
Lorraine Toussaint (The Soloist, Saving Grace)
Brian J. White (Stomp the Yard, Daddy's Little Girls)
Website is open. Visit www.autismspeaks.org/actso
You are such a good writer, Donna, and your passion and authenticity as an advocate for those with ASD, and their families, makes your voice natural and true. I'm not surprised you were "discovered." I'm suspecting that someday soon a book editor will call and offer you a deal!
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