Thursday, June 7, 2012

Relaxation and Mom of an ASD Kiddo....People Just Don't Understand!

The best intentioned people - mostly the ones who don't see my day to day life - are always saying “You need to get a break" and "What do you do for yourself?" and " What are your hobbies?”.  The bigger side of me thinks, "I know you're right and I'm better now than I used to be", but the little me, the less than gracious me, the not so evolved me thinks.. Really???? What hobbies!? What part of being a single mom raising two kids, one with ASD, and working to support my family don't they  understand? I have no hobbies. Knowing my kids are safe, that’s my hobby!!! That's the best I can do!

I know it's hard to understand how going out, being away,  is not relaxing for everyone! For the most part, It's not for me. I’m not relaxed when I go out.  When I go out, when I leave my kids, I don't just shut off I worry what’s going on with them.  Are they okay? Is the person watching Nicky okay? That's what I think about, So, no I don't go away and relax, because worrying about them is not fun or relaxing for me. 

I’m not at a place yet where being away from them is peaceful.  My best  idea of peaceful is having both my kids right next to me, happy or sleeping where I can see them, touch them, know right where they are, and I know they are ok.  That’s relaxing for me.

All the while the bigger more gracious side of me, is working at improving :).