A day in the life of a single mom raising a teenager and a child with autism. I believe that it's not what we receive, but what we give away that defines us. I want to give away all that I have learned and experienced in hopes that it will help families raising a child with autism or any disability. This is my candid journal where I open up my world and share my joys, knowledge, lessons, disappointments, challenges, frustrations, fears and successes - one day at a time.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Week 6 Lesson’s from Nicky "Can you define happiness for another person?"
Nick goes one step farther, he doesn't see the imperfections!
Can we define happiness for another person? I’m pretty sure I did, before Nicky opened my eyes. For example I assumed that people with severe disabilities, or special needs didn't, or couldn't live a happy life. I felt
sad for their life, a life not at all like mine, a "typical" person. Now 13 years into my journey with Nicky I see how ignorant I was, and I wonder, as I look at all of us with our typical lives, who's happier? So, I did a little compare and contrast.
Here's me; I'm happy I have a wonderful family, and I don't need for anything AND the my life is also full of responsibilities, stress and concerns. Not the least of which is I am good enough and will I have enough. I've worried or stressed about my job, my relationships, my security, taking care of my children, making
enough money, wearing the right cloths, saying the right things, staying fit, credit
card bills, divorce, being alone, was I polite enough to the person who served my food or
helped me check out at the grocery store, cleaning the house, being good at my job, my sisters, my mom and of course the future. I get my feelings hurt, I put meaning to things that happen to me (the old he/she did this because), I carry the baggage of my past with me, and the list goes
Here's Nick; He's happy, he doesn't hold any grudges, getting back at someone is a concept totally unknown to him, he is free from the typical humanville baggage that comes from “how we think things should be” he laughs happy hysterical laughter every day at simple things, he's always happy to see people he loves, he doesn't judge anyone, he loves all of us unconditionally. He gets frustrated about things in the moment has his tantrums and meltdowns, and when he recovers it's over. He's not worried about getting his drivers license, gang violence, drugs, wearing cool cloths, having a hot bod, great hair, saying all the right things or all the peer pressure stuff teens endure. He seems to have no worries about the future, or distressing thoughts of what people think of him and I kinda doubt that he has any baggage! Nicky is truly deeply happy and his greatest worry is…will he earn free-time, will he get more French fries and
chicken, who will come to work/play with him, when will his sister come home, how can
he sneak books, internet, videos or markers, and will today be a day we will let him make a list or go to the zoo or the library.
I don’t know about you, but when I look at the lists side by side it's obvious he's happy and maybe even happier. Once again…”I’m just saying J”