Sunday, July 2, 2017

Single moms, working, parenting and special kids...where does that leave dating?


Single moms, working, parenting and special kids...where does that leave dating?
What women doesn't want to find the perfect guy, who will complete her family and make her happy? Well, I do and despite a failed marriage and a hectic life, the dream still lives inside. 


I guess that's why when a friend convinced me that given my busy schedule online dating was a great way to meet someone, I didn't say no. After lot's of prodding I finally agreed "What have I got to loose!" and I signed up. Much to my surprise it was fun doing the personality profile, focusing on myself and getting "Meet Mr.X" messages sent to my email for my approval. For weeks I just looked at the matches and it was good for my ego. I didn't feel like a mom, or a divorced mom, or a mom with two kids, or a mom with a special needs kid - or most of all a mom who really didn't have time in her life to be a great mom, the breadwinner and date!  I just felt like a girl, who wanted to meet a guy and that felt nice. About 1 month in I decided to take a leap and I began texting with someone, then we talked on the phone a few times and I agreed to meet  at a local tea spot. We had a 35 minute chat. A week or so later I was attending an event and I invited him to tag along, we hung out for a couple hours.

Then, he hit hyper relationship drive, which was like hitting a wall at 70 miles per hour, boom! To me it felt as if he was ready to go full speed and plan the wedding. Which was not what I wanted to do. I just wanted a little relationship to begin with. And now I wondered "What had I done?" I wanted it to slow down and maybe even stop all together. I don't know all the emotions that were driving me. Was it him or was it me? I wondered if I was just not interested in a nice guy, was I sabotaging a potential relationship with someone who was really interested in me, because I had become so used to relationships being a battle, and me having to struggle for the love and attention I deserved. I had no idea all I knew for sure was this didn't feel right to me.  So, I kindly thanked him and explained "Me tortoise, you hare and a backed away". Three days later we exchanged these messages:

Message # 1 from Him:

Donna,

Is this the end??????? I'm not sure what happened, or where I /we went wrong. I'd assumed a woman of your caliber and education would be a tad more considerate and understanding. Please understand this, you don't owe me anything whatsoever. I just thought you wouldn't "diss" me this way. After all, we didn't just happen to meet at the local 7/11. We purposely and specifically met via an online "dating" service. Which (call me crazy) generally means folks go there to meet new people with the goal of seeking potential "dates", etc. If you were not serious about dating, or even more importantly; not interested in me. Why did you bother? No disrespect intended, no one like wasting their time, nor spinning their wheels with someone who's indifferent. I'm flesh and blood, and I have feelings too!

All I was originally seeking from you Donna was some degree of clarity from your statements from our Thursday night phone conversation. From my end of the phone, all I heard was a series of thoughts and words strung together to form a somewhat incoherent statement. A "thought smorgasbord" if you will. You then went on to say that your dinner was in the oven. Then abruptly ended the conversation, with the proviso that you would call me back later that evening. So far, so good. However, as we know; that conversation has yet to take place. :-( Bob Dylan summed it up nicely, "...you don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows."

Unless I hear otherwise, I can assure you this will be the last time I'll reach out to you. :-( You have a multitude of very desirable traits. And yes, I will miss you greatly. However, (once again, no disrespect intended) communication (with me) was NOT your strong point. Most of our communications were text-based, which is OK for general contact. But hardly suitable for gaining knowledge/context/nuance about a person. And our phone conversations were very short, generally one sided, while you multi-tasked in the background. I understand you have a very busy life. Nonetheless, often times... I felt you were not totally listening to me. More times than not, I often wondered why you even bothered with the hassle of going on eHarmony.

You mentioned in your blogs, "...you are going to wake up one day and be 60 and all alone". If you want someone in your life, you're going to have to let down your guard... a little, and let them in! Your have a very complicated life. But not an impossible one. As you well know, anything is possible... if you really want it. In my case, I may not be the "type" of man you generally date. Which as far as I'm concerned, should be a good thing. :-) Besides, if they were "all that", our paths would perhaps never crossed! My "ex" the, "shrink" use to tell me that a sure sign of insanity was doing the same exact thing over and over again. Expecting a different outcome. What I may lack in material goods, etc. I more than make it up in those sought after, "intangibility assets", such as warmth, heart, soul, friendship, emotional support, companionship, honesty, great kisser+, devotion, compassion, understanding, patience, teamwork, and yes... unconditional love. When was the last time you really thought a man was really just into YOU? When was the last time you were with a man who you knew, "had your back"???

Anywho, it was a distinct and total pleasure meeting you. You are an awesome woman, Ms Ross-Jones! I'm so glad I met you.

Good luck in whatever paths your life takes you. I won't soon forget you.


p.s. - I really wanted to meet both Nicky & Evyn.

Message # 2 My Response


Wow, Ouch and Okay. When I read this last night I was taken aback and my immediate thought was to respond line by line. I opted not to, because I was feeling too defensive and no matter how I felt in the moment, I always trust that all things happy for a reason. This morning I woke with two thoughts;

I am sorry for any angst I have caused you, it was never my intention. I'm just still finding my way.

In response to your question "Is this the end?" Yes, it is.

Thank you for being honest, and again my apologies for any upset I caused you. Take care. I wish you every happiness.

Donna


Message #3 Response From Him

I was hoping this would be an opening for additional dialog. Once again I misread the situation.


Response #4  Response from Him
One More Question: Would you possibility reconsider additional contact with me? I've been rather stressed here at work, and I think it reflected in my email from last night.

If indeed we're to never speak again. I would like to attempt to end things on a more positive note.

If not, I totally understand.
---------------------------

That was the end of the messages, and online dating but this was still a great lesson for me. I learned maybe not the right time, maybe not the right guy. But, for sure I was not ready to spread my attention beyond my kids, family and work and in the end I was cool with that.  And I am, no matter how long it takes.

16 comments:

  1. That guy is a nut, and you were right to cut it off. He was already manipulating you- using your blog against you, using your kids (meeting them) as emotional blackmail, disparaging your words.... don't even give him a second thought.

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  2. Also, I think your biggest mistake was giving him so much information.

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  3. I tend to be candid with little thought of people using it against me...I'll learn!

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  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  5. WOW ALL THANKS TO DR WILLIAMS I HAVE NEVER BELIEVE IN HERBAL REMEDIES.
    my son have been a patient of autism . I had tried a lot of anti viral med prescribed to me by doctors over how many years now but I could not see any improvements in my son symptoms. One day while going through the internet , i got to know about this great Herbal Dr who uses his herbal remedies in curing people from autism,quickly i contacted him and he prepared a herbal medication for my son which i received and he used it as instructed by dr williams. After few weeks the improvement were very visible. the speech delay and the poor eye contact stopped, I would recommend this to all my friends,families,around the globe suffering from autism.you can contact him through his email on drwilliams098675@gmail.com.for advice and for his product THANKS TO YOU ONCE AGAIN ADMIN FOR SUCH AN INFORMATIVE BLOG.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am Sophie from Canada, I once suffered from a terrible and Chronic autism ,since i was bone , the doctor told me there was no permanent cure i was given medications to slow down its progress, i constantly felt my health was deteriorating as i constantly go out of breath,and this illness was really terrible especially when am going out with my friends, i have this constant disorder for about 31 years which result to epilepsy, this was really a terrible ailment ,on thin one day that i was going through the internet,and i came across a post of Mrs Kate on how his son was been cured from autism through the help of Dr Williams herbal product, I contacted this herbal doctor via his email and explain everything to him and make purchase of his product,few days later he sent me the herbal medicine through courier service, when i received the herbal medicine i used it for 1 months and two weeks as prescribed and i was totally cured of autism within those week of usage,on thin now i have not experience any sign .if you need his help you can Contact this herbal doctor via his email drwilliams098675@gmail.com or for more information you can visit his blog autismepilepsy.blogspot.com for help

    ReplyDelete
  7. HOW I WAS CURED TOTALLY FROM AUTISM
    I had my first attack of (AUTISM) when I was 20, I wasn't diagnosed until seven years later when I was totally experiencing speech delay. It was so terrifying that I began dropping things and losing sensitivity to sounds, having severe fatigue and muscle weakness. A horrible poor eyes contact began. I sometimes can't walk straight and fall onto walls and I get leaning disability, the English medications i used proved abortive. i was so frustrated that i had to contact My neurologist,he told me about a new RRMS (relapsing-remitting MS) drug which was only in its trial stage, CAMPATH. I started the chemo-type treatment and some prescribed drugs like: RISPERDAL, EFFEXOR XR, GEODON and MEMANTINE. which resulted in 1st seizure of my life, thereby adding more salt to my injury. As a result to proffer solution to my problems, i started going online in search for a cure, i came across a testimony of a woman who got her cure through HERBAL MEDICATION, at first, i doubted because of the misconception that autism can not be cured. But i later contacted the Doctor through the email provided, and I used his Herbal product, after 1 month of use, I noticed tremendous improvement in my health, 5 months after, I can proudly say, I've been totally cured by Dr.williams Herbal Medication from AUTISM..., If you have the same health issue, you may contact him for a total change of story, Via:autismepilepsy.blogspot.com . I believe your predicament will be a thing of the past just like mine.

    ReplyDelete
  8. As a sign of gratitude for how my son was saved from autism, i decided to reach out to those still suffering from this.
    My son suffered autism in the year 2013 and it was really tough and heartbreaking for me because he was my all and the symptoms were terrible, he always have difficulty with communication, , and he always complain of poor eye contact . we tried various therapies prescribed by our neurologist but none could cure him. I searched for a cure and i saw a testimony by someone who was cured and so many other with similar body problem, and he left the contact of the doctor who had the cure to autism . I never imagined autism has a natural cure not until i contacted him and he assured me my son will be fine. I got the herbal medication he recommended and my son used it and in one months time he was fully okay even up till this moment he is so full of life.autism has a cure and it is a herbal cure contact the doctor for more info on drwilliams098675@gmail.com on how to get the medication. Thanks for reading my story

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  9. DR WILLIAMS HERBAL CURE TO AUTISM.
    I was always praying to have a testimony when ever i saw people sharing their own testimonies which really took me years but today i am the happiest father on earth.My son suffered autism for 5 years, after taken different kind of western medication without been cured.All these years my son was like a death person but today he is been cured.and you do not know how i feel having my son back to normal because it was not really easy for me having just two son and one been abnormal.I took time to search the internet which i found a lot of people thanking Dr. williams concerning the same problem and i discussed it with my wife and she agreed we should give a try so we order his product which my son took for 28 days and he is very much okay now.I will advise you to stop wasting time on all these western medicine because they only work for some times and the problem bounce back again.Contact Dr.at drwilliams098675@gmail.com for advice and for his product and be the next to give your testimony.

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  10. SPECIAL THANKS TO DR WILLIAMS FOR THE AUTISM CURED HE
    RENDER TO MY SON.
    I'm giving a testimony about Dr. WILLIAMS for the great deed he have done for my family, he has
    the natural cure to autism, he cured my son from autism ,
    though I went through different website I saw a testimonies about this
    Dr Williams, I was like: 'Dr Williams have the autism cure why are
    people still suffering from it?' I thought of it, then I contact Dr Williams, I didn't believe him that much, I just wanted to give him a try, he replied my mail and Needed some Information about my son, then I sent them to him, he prepared the (CURE) and sent it to me through Courier Service he gave my details to the Courier Office, they told me that 1-3 days I will receive the package and my son took the medicine as prescribed by Dr Williams and i took my son for check-up 1 week after finishing the medicine, then the autism was not there anymore, if you are suffering from autism you can also contact him on his via email address: drwilliams098675@gmail.com for his help.

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  11. I am bold enough among many others to state that there is now a potent cure to this sickness but many are unaware of it. I discovered that I was infected with the virus 3 months ago, after a medical check-up. My doctor told me and I was shocked, confused and felt like my world has crumbled. I was dying slowly due to the announcement of my medical practitioner but he assured me that I could leave a normal life if I took my medications (as there was no medically known cure to Herpes). I went from churches to churches but soon found that my case needed urgent attention as I was growing lean due to fear of dying anytime soon. In a bid to look for a lasting solution to my predicament, I sought for solutions from the herbal world. I went online and searched for every powerful trado-medical practitioner that I could severe, cos I heard that the African Herbs had a cure to the Herpes syndrome. It was after a little time searching the web that I came across one Dr Itua(A powerful African Herbal Doctor), who offered to help me at a monetary fee. I had to comply as this was my final bus-stop to receiving a perfect healing. My last resolve was to take my life by myself, should this plan fail. At last it worked out well. He gave me some steps to follow and I meticulously carried out all his instructions. Last month, to be precise, I went back to the hospital to conduct another test and to my amazement, the results showed that negative,Dr Itua Can As Well Cure The Following Desease…Cancer,Hiv,Herpes, Hepatitis B,Liver Inflammatory,Diabetis,Fribroid, Dercum,fibromyalgia,Get Your Ex Back,Als,SYPHILLIS,Genetic disease, Parkinson's disease.Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva.You can free yourself of this Herpes virus by consulting this great African Herbal Doctor via this e-mail: drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com or call and whatsapp him on +2348149277967 He will help you and his herb medication is sure. he has the cure on all disease .You can talk to me on INSTAGRAM..tashamoore219....

    ReplyDelete
  12. My life is beautiful thanks to you, Mein Helfer. Lord Jesus in my life as a candle light in the darkness. You showed me the meaning of faith with your words. I know that even when I cried all day thinking about how to recover, you were not sleeping, you were dear to me. I contacted the herbal center Dr Itua, who lived in West Africa. A friend of mine here in Hamburg is also from Africa. She told me about African herbs but I was nervous. I am very afraid when it comes to Africa because I heard many terrible things about them because of my Christianity. god for direction, take a bold step and get in touch with him in the email and then move to WhatsApp, he asked me if I can come for treatment or I want a delivery, I told him I wanted to know him I buy ticket in 2 ways to Africa To meet Dr. Itua, I went there and I was speechless from the people I saw there. Patent, sick people. Itua is a god sent to the world, I told my pastor about what I am doing, Pastor Bill Scheer. We have a real battle beautifully with Spirit and Flesh. Adoration that same night. He prayed for me and asked me to lead. I spent 2 weeks and 2 days in Africa at Dr Itua Herbal Home. After the treatment, he asked me to meet his nurse for the HIV test when I did it. It was negative, I asked my friend to take me to another nearby hospital when I arrived, it was negative. I was overwhite with the result, but happy inside of me. We went with Dr. Itua, I thank him but I explain that I do not have enough to show him my appreciation, that he understands my situation, but I promise that he will testify about his good work. Thank God for my dear friend, Emma, I know I could be reading this now, I want to thank you. And many thanks to Dr. Itua Herbal Center. He gave me his calendar that I put on my wall in my house. Dr. Itua can also cure the following diseases ... Cancer, HIV, Herpes, Hepatitis B, Inflammatory Liver, Diabetis, Fribroid,Parkinson's disease,Inflammatory bowel disease ,Fibromyalgia, recover your ex. You can contact him by email or whatsapp, @ .. drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com, phone number .. + 2348149277967 .. He is a good doctor, talk to him kindly. I'm sure he will also listen to you.

    ReplyDelete
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  14. Thanks to Dr Williams I am so happy today, my son have been suffering from autism for the past 8 years now, and i have spent a lot on western drugs which has all proved abortive, i have tried all means in life to get my son out of this , but there was no answer until i decided to try herbal solution and i found Dr Williams online and i contacted him and after he took his medication as instructed, my son is now completely cure from autism within those week of usage, i am so much happy, thanks to Dr Williams for helping me get my son life back again without any form of crisis, i promise to tell your name and good deeds to the whole world,if you have a son with autism you can email him on drwilliams098675@gmail.com for more information .

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hiv disease for the last 3 years and had pain hard to eat and cough are nightmares,especially the first year At this stage, the immune system is severely weakened, and the risk of contracting opportunistic infections is much greater. However, not everyone with HIV will go on to develop AIDS. The earlier you receive treatment, the better your outcome will be.I started taking ARV to avoid early death but I had faith in God that i would be healed someday.As a Hiv patent we are advise to be taking antiretroviral treatments to reduce our chance of transmitting the virus to others , few weeks ago i came on search on the internet if i could get any information on Hiv treatment with herbal medicine, on my search i saw a testimony of someone who has been healed from Hiv her name was Achima Abelard and other Herpes Virus patent Tasha Moore also giving testimony about this same man,Called Dr Itua Herbal Center.I was moved by the testimony and i contacted him by his Email.drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com We chatted and he send me a bottle of herbal medicine I drank it as he instructed me to.After drinking it he ask me to go for a test that how i ended my suffering life of Hiv patent,I'm cured and free of Arv Pills.I'm forever grateful to him Drituaherbalcenter.Here his contact Number +2348149277967...He assure me he can cure the following disease..Hiv,Cancer,Herpes Virus,Epilepsy, fibromyalgia ,ALS,Hepatitis,Copd,Parkinson disease.Genetic disease,Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva,Factor V Leiden Mutation ,Fatal Familial Insomnia ,Dupuytren's disease,Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva,Fluoroquinolone Toxicity Syndrome,Inflammatory bowel disease ,Huntington's disease ,Diabetes,Fibroid...

    ReplyDelete
  16. HOW I WAS CURED TOTALLY FROM AUTISM
    I had my first attack of (AUTISM) when I was a kid, I wasn't diagnosed until seven years later when I was totally experiencing speech delay. It was so terrifying that I began dropping things and losing sensitivity to sounds, having severe fatigue and muscle weakness. A horrible poor eyes contact began. I sometimes can't walk straight and fall onto walls and I get leaning disability, the English medications i used proved abortive. i was so frustrated that i had to contact My neurologist,he told me about a new RRMS (relapsing-remitting MS) drug which was only in its trial stage, CAMPATH. I started the chemo-type treatment and some prescribed drugs like: RISPERDAL, EFFEXOR XR, GEODON and MEMANTINE. which resulted in 1st seizure of my life, thereby adding more salt to my injury. As a result to proffer solution to my problems, i started going online in search for a cure, i came across a testimony of a woman who got her son cure through HERBAL MEDICATION, at first, i doubted because of the misconception that autism can not be cured. But i later contacted the Doctor through the email provided, and I used his Herbal product, after 1 month of use, I noticed tremendous improvement in my health, 5 months after, I can proudly say, I've been totally cured by Dr.williams Herbal Medication from AUTISM..., If you have the same health issue, you may contact him for a total change of story, Via: drwilliams098675@gmail.com . I believe your predicament will be a thing of the past just like mine.

    ReplyDelete