Wednesday, September 6, 2017

What Wikipedia Can't Tell You about Autism and Graduation Ceremonies

I know I'm late to the graduation party, but I didn't want to miss sharing this. 

On graduation day I invited friends and family and therapists to come so we could all cheer and celebrate this momentous day we all worked so hard for.  Huddled together on the bleachers we were all excited screaming "Go Nick", clapping and cheering as he walked out to take his seat. We were just like all the other families celebrating each graduates success and the joy of knowing this was the beginning of what we all hoped would be an exciting chapter for our children, the dawn of a new day.

As the valedictorian talked about their future, what each student will do next, the contributions they will make to the world, and the thrill of the academic, personal and professional journey ahead, something snapped in me, and my excitement was gone. My stomach tightened as a wave of profound sadness, borderline nausea passed through me and I went from feeling like all the other parents to an actor in a play, a fraud an imposter pretending to be like the other parents, pretending to fit in because this sounded nothing like Nick’s future, nothing like our life.  I put my head down to cover my face and hide the tears flowing from my eyes. 

I stopped hearing or seeing the ceremony as my mind began racing with thoughts “What the hell! Am I crazy? What am I celebrating? Nick is walking but he’s not getting a diploma. He’s not like these other kids. What future, mall walker!!!? This is not the start of an exciting future for Nick we’re just getting closer and closer to the world where there is no place for him, a world where one day I won't be here to protect him!”  And all of the joy of the moment evaporates. I tell myself to snap out of it and I pick up my head and go back to watching the ceremony. I do the right thing, and I yelled in support as he walked across the stage.

Finally, the ceremony ends and we all rush down to the field.  I’ve put on my happy face, still unable to silence the thoughts in my head and the grief I'm feeling.   

Then, I see Nick who is exploding with joy and what looks like pride as he jumps and smiles and laughs clutching his certificate.  His joy is so big, so infectious my grief vanishes and I realize this is the point, this moment, these feelings right now and not what is next. It doesn’t matter if he isn’t like the other students, it doesn’t matter if his future won’t be like theirs, it would not be like theirs even if he was typical. It doesn't matter if he isn't holding a diploma or know what all of this means.  The truth is each student faces the unknown, just as much as Nick does, some will have a better future, so will not. But I do know what every parent wants most is for our child to be happy, and mine was probably the happiest one there!  

I watch everyone congratulate Nick, I see my beautiful happy boy and I am so relieved I didn’t let all the thoughts in my head, and my concerns for his future, rob me of the joy of the moment.  Note to self, the past is gone, the future is unknown, so remember mama to stay in the now, or risk missing something pretty damn amazing!


3 comments:

  1. I am Sophie from Canada, I once suffered from a terrible and Chronic autism ,since i was bone , the doctor told me there was no permanent cure i was given medications to slow down its progress, i constantly felt my health was deteriorating as i constantly go out of breath,and this illness was really terrible especially when am going out with my friends, i have this constant disorder for about 31 years, this was really a terrible ailment ,on thin one day that i was going through the internet,and i came across a post of Mrs Kate on how his son was been cured from autism through the help of Dr Williams herbal product, I contacted this herbal doctor via his email and explain everything to him and make purchase of his product,few days later he sent me the herbal medicine through courier service, when i received the herbal medicine, i used it for 1 months and two weeks as prescribed by dr williams and i was totally cured within those week of usage,on thin now i have not experience any sign or characteristics again . for more information you can visit his blog autismepilepsy.blogspot.com for help

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  2. As a sign of gratitude for how my son was saved from autism, i decided to reach out to those still suffering from this.
    My son suffered autism in the year 2013 and it was really tough and heartbreaking for me because he was my all and the symptoms were terrible, he always have difficulty with communication, , and he always complain of poor eye contact . we tried various therapies prescribed by our neurologist but none could cure him. I searched for a cure and i saw a testimony by someone who was cured and so many other with similar body problem, and he left the contact of the doctor who had the cure to autism . I never imagined autism has a natural cure not until i contacted him and he assured me my son will be fine. I got the herbal medication he recommended and my son used it and in one months time he was fully okay even up till this moment he is so full of life.autism has a cure and it is a herbal cure contact the doctor for more info on drwilliams098675@gmail.com on how to get the medication. Thanks for reading my story

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