Today Nicky’s supervisor for his behavior team is coming over to “help” me. Right now I am so angry (which really means frustrated and tired and disappointed) that I know I won’t be able to hide it. She is going to walk in the door and there is going to be this unmistakable tension. I’ve promised myself not to punish her –even through I want to punish someone – and to try and be open, not on the brink of tears and to work toward having a conversation and letting her know that I don’t’ hate her. It’s hard when I’m in mother bear mode. I feel so afraid that he won’t get what he needs and this is really my only way of fighting back…I wish they understood that.
We went on our outing so the therapist could see the challenges I was having, that I need help with. It was amazing…he did not exhibit one negative behavior! He is like the squeek in your car, that goes away the minute you get to the mechanic.