I miss the good parts of how Christmas used to be. When both mom and dad got all the Christmas gifts ready for the kids and went to Christmas events. I miss that moment when the kid's watched because they wanted to see what Daddy gave Mommy.
Donna SNAP OUT OF IT. That's what happens when I look at life though the rear view mirror, it gets distorted. Our holidays in the later years were gardly perfect, but there were still some great moments.
Ironically during the holidays the good memories are inflated as the bad memories fade, reminding how far away I am from the picture I imagined. For the kids, especially Evyn, it's the idea that her family is not complete. For Nicky I'm not sure. He asked for Dad ALOT over the past month and I have no idea if the holidays are involved.
I don't linger in this place. I just acknowledge it then bonk myself upside my head, and get back to what is really true and I move on. Not easy but I've had practice. The truth is, I am here with two of the most terrific kiddos on the planet. I am healthy, we are healthy. We have a home, joy, food and wonderful people in our life. I am blessed to have my family nearby to share not only the holidays but every day of our lives, not just December 25 :)
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