Friday, December 24, 2010

The Holidays...Don't Fall For the Fantasy!

I can’t believe I fell for it again! It’s Christmas Eve morning, our day begins quietly, Nicky slept all night and he’s in a good mood.  We are enjoying a wonderful morning. He's alert and I'm getting the amazing gift of connection as we snuggle and talk.  

Then it's time to go downstairs, I begin cooking, getting ready for tomorrow’s Christmas dinner. I’m happy and I want it to be a great day for both the kids.  Nicky asks “Video? Elf?”.  We love Elf, I love Elf.  Elf reminds me of Nicky, pure sweet and not appreciated by the mass’s.  Being in the Christmas Spirit I say “Yes, just no rewinding”. 

Thirty minutes later my son is in full meltdown. He wants more video, he wants to rewind, he’s hysterical when I say “No”.  He’s hitting his body on the floor, tears are streaming from his eyes and he can’t settle down.  I can’t believe I fell for the “It’s Christmas, give him a break” story!

It’s taken me an hour to get him calm.  He’s in bed now and I’m thinking about hitting my body on the floor for being such a peanut brain. I KNOW BETTER!!!! I know Nicky can’t handle watching video’s. I can’t believe I let myself get sucked into my own little holiday illusion; today we would be magically transported to storybook land and Nicky would be free of all of his autism behaviors because it’s a holiday!  Wake up mama! I know holidays are not different than any other day.  I know videos are Nicky’s heroine and there is no good day for heroine! DUH.

Okay, that's over. Now it's time to go back to having a good day and there’s always tomorrow. 

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