Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
George Bernard Shaw

I read this quote today and it hit me as such a pure and simple truth. I felt that it is what I have been doing, day in and day out. Autism surely has not been about finding myself, as much as it has been about creating a self that can rise to the occasion. A self I can be proud of.

I am not the same person I was before I had my children, I am not the same person I was before Nicky was diagnosed with Autism, I am not the same person I was before I got divorced. I have in each of these situations added something or taken something away all as part of my journey... I have been in fact creating myself.

I also thought about all the people who touch my life, and how each and every person, not just each experience, have in fact been active in creating my life. I can't imaging who I might have created without the love and support of my family and friends. That thought filled me instantly with a deep since of gratitude and appreciation.

Despite the bad days, I know that I was never lost, so I didn't need to find me. I know that my future is all about continuing to create the best me.

Somali Autism Situation

In the continuing "What Causes Autism" debate there is much conversation around the recent Minnesota and the CDC Conference on Somali Autism Situation.

Someone was kind enough to send some links so that I could share the information, which I gladly do.

CDC’s Office of the Director:
Autism May Result from “Chemical Exposures”
By David Kirby
http://www.ageofautism.com/2008/11/minnesota-and-t.html

Out of Africa and Into Autism: More Evidence
Illuminates the Somali Anomaly in Minnesota
By Mark F. Blaxill
http://www.ageofautism.com/2008/11/out-of-africa-a.html

November 25, 2008 8:39 AM

Gratitude, Autism and Thanksgiving Then and Now

It is hard to believe that 8 Thanksgivings have come and gone since Nicky was diagnosed with autism, or that I have spent 8 years immersed in a life I could have never imagined, because it’s a life that is incomprehensible to those who have not seen it up close and personal, for an extended period of time.

Thanksgiving, and all “happy” family holidays were hard for years they had a way of magnifying disappointments and they seemed to set me up for painful unmet expectations of how holidays were before autism (which now looked even better than they probably were). It wasn’t just the big idea “my kid has autism” it was the little things, having; a kid who couldn’t sit at the table, a kid who couldn’t interact with family, a kid who I couldn’t wait to get back home (away from the family gathering where the other kids played and had fun clearly highlighting Nicky’s disability), family members who struggled to figure out how to "be" with him, or the feeling of knowing that my daughter hated all the attention he required, because that sucked all the attention away from her, or hovering over him to make sure he didn’t grab some food that wasn’t on his special diet or keeping him away from my families electronics and pets. And finally, there was the total lack of relaxation that I could be certain would occur with all of the above going on. Oh, yeah….I remember the holidays in the early years.

It does get easier, even better. As a mom I’m a little less frantic and worried, I don’t expect him to show up playing like the other kids, we put out snacks he can eat and everyone is okay if he eats chicken and potatoes instead of a holiday feast. We are thrilled if he sits at the table for 20 minutes, we bring toys and electronics with us, and our family accepts our limitations releasing us from those obligations that we just can’t honor. So today, as Thanksgiving approaches I found myself thinking deeply about the many blessings in my life. Like every parent I am so grateful for my children and the outrageous joy they bring just by being who they are, great kids! Evyn is the most wonderful unique person I have ever known. She is funny, clever, smart, creative, compassionate and individualistic to her core. Nicky is smart, pure, funny, refreshing and determined. Evyn and Nicky are perfect just how they are.

To a lot of people it looks like I give so much to Nicky, but in truth – just like his sister - he has given me more than I have given him. He has helped me grow up, look honestly at myself and get up close and personal with my strengths and weaknesses. Together Evyn and Nicky have created an environment that has forced me to stand in front of life mirror and take long hard looks at myself, and then make choices about who I wanted to be. Nicky and Evyn have made me who I am today, they created the opportunities for me to choose to be a better person and I am stronger for the journey.

My friends say I have always been this person, but I know in my heart that I had never been challenged to reveal the dept of what was possible inside of me. Without my kiddo’s, without autism in my life, I doubt that I would really know how strong I am. I have experienced what often felt like a lifetime’s worth of deep feelings of pain, loss, anger, frustration, inadequacy and disappointment as a part of daily life. I look back now and I know that in each experience I gained new perspective, I grew as a person. The repetitive process of falling, getting up, falling, getting up has taught me that I can get up! Because of them I know with absolute certainty, that I am strong and I can handle anything. That knowledge has changed my life and made me less venerable to the challenges of the world.

So on this Thanksgiving I will be saying thank you Evyn and Nicky for;

• Giving me the opportunity to learn what I am made of.
• Giving me the opportunity to decide what I wanted to be made of
• Helping me to be the best me I could be
• Showing me the wonderful things about me, like patience
  
• Teaching me how to be strong
• Teaching me what things are really important in life
• Helping me to grasp the big idea that we really are all different, and that's NOT a bad thing
  
• The knowledge that I can handle anything
• Teaching me deep empathy for others, who I had never really considered before
• Showing me the joys that come from "differences" that cannot be taught, only experienced
  
  • Giving me joy that I could have never imagined
  • Helping me live a life that is truly full and rich with experience
  • Loving me, while I was getting all this experience!

Vaccines ... two perspectives

I don't know what causes Autism, lord knows I wish I did. What I do know is...that as a parent with a child with autism I can confidently state that until we know what causes Autism I will continue to leave the door open to it's cause and I will read, listen and learn every chance I get. That said, this was an interesting article that I found today. It sums up the feelings of so many people, on both sides of the vaccine debate.

Debate Rages Over Need For Vaccines

By Lisa Greene, St. Petersburg Times, is.gd/8J28

One is a former Playboy Playmate of the Year. The other was once voted one of People magazine's most beautiful people. They had a spat this fall. Actor Amanda Peet used the word "parasites" to describe people aligned with Playmate Jenny McCarthy. "She has a lot of nerve," McCarthy huffed in response. This would be a bit of celebrity fluff, except that Peet was criticizing parents who don't vaccinate their children. McCarthy took up for them because she's the most visible person who claims childhood vaccines cause autism. As famous as they are, Peet and McCarthy are merely two combatants in a national controversy. The nation's most trusted scientific organizations, including the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the American Academy of Pediatrics, have said there's no link between childhood vaccines and autism.
Most parents believe them. More than 77 percent of children are completely vaccinated.
But the number of autism cases keeps growing, and nobody can explain why. Some people believe vaccines must be to blame. The Internet teems with frightening stories about the harm they supposedly do, and McCarthy's latest book is a bestseller.
Parents are peppering doctors with questions about vaccines, and some are opting out completely. Even a small dropoff in vaccinations can have a big effect. Earlier this year, a rare outbreak of measles was attributed partly to parents who refuse to vaccinate their children.
This is no longer principally a debate about science. The real question is whether Americans still believe in science — or at least, in the nation's scientists.
Inside a small ranch house in Tampa's Town 'N Country neighborhood, 9-year-old Nikki McDonald pulled at the penny-sized raw patch on her nose. Her mother — always alert to Nikki's attempts to hurt herself — straddled the child on the family room floor, keeping her hands from the scab. Nikki wailed.
"Are you going to be a good girl?" Janet McDonald asked.
Eventually, Nikki relaxed. She has worse moments — sometimes she bangs her head on the floor — but for her mother, every day is a trial.
Eight years ago, two of Janet's triplets, Nikki and Dougie, were diagnosed with autism, a dis­order marked by difficulties communicating and interacting. She blames vaccines. After their 15-month shots, she said, the children began to change.
She doesn't know how vaccines hurt them, and she is not sure why the third triplet, Alex, wasn't affected. But she is so certain vaccines are harmful that she warns neighbors and friends not to vaccinate.
"I could just kill somebody who did this to my kids," she said, her voice breaking.
Caring for the triplets takes all her time and energy. Her husband died suddenly three years ago, leaving her struggling emotionally and financially. She may not be able to hang on to the house.
Nikki stood nearby as her mother talked about her troubles, but didn't seem to notice her mother was upset. Dougie can say a few words. Nikki can't.
"How could they take a beautiful child and make her like nobody's home?"

• • •

The debate about vaccines and autism exploded 10 years ago. A British study of a dozen children found that children with autism also had inflamed intestines. The measles vaccine was believed to have caused the inflammation.
The lead researcher, Andrew Wakefield, theorized that after these children received the MMR (for measles, mumps, rubella) vaccine, the measles virus in the vaccine traveled to their intestines, infecting and damaging them. An unknown protein then was able to travel from there to the brain, causing autism. Wakefield suggested separating MMR into three vaccines.
After the study came out, rates for MMR vaccination plunged nearly 15 percent in some parts of Great Britain. In the United States, fearful parents formed advocacy groups, and the controversy captured headlines and research dollars. A U.S. representative whose grandson had autism held a congressional hearing on the potential link.
Since then, the study has been harshly criticized. Most of the researchers involved have retracted their results. In September, researchers who conducted a similar study said they found no link between measles virus and autism.
The antivaccine forces also suggested that thimerosal, a kind of mercury used as a preservative in vaccines, could be to blame. Mercury is toxic to the brain, but poison experts say symptoms don't mirror autism, and no studies linked thimerosal to autism.
Still, by 2001, makers of vaccines removed thimerosal from most vaccines — except for the flu vaccine — as a precaution. Autism rates continue to climb.
Researchers say part of the rise comes from increased awareness and diagnosis of autism. But research also is looking at a genetic link — when one twin is autistic, the other is more likely to be — and at possible environmental causes.
In 2004, an expert panel convened by the Institute of Medicine issued what was meant to be the final word. The group said enough study had been done to reject any link to autism for either MMR or thimerosal.
What's more, the group said, money would be better spent researching other possible causes.
End of story? Hardly.
Oregon financier J.B. Handley is a leading critic of vaccines. Handley, 39, and his wife founded Generation Rescue after their son, now 6, was diagnosed with autism. Jenny McCarthy is the group's most public face.
Most pediatricians, Handley said, "are in denial and not wanting to believe" the dangers of vaccines. He speaks harshly of vaccine companies and vaccine scientists. He mentioned one scientist at the CDC who "should go to jail" for covering up the truth.
Handley is not a scientist and acknowledges he is not sure how vaccines lead to autism. Maybe it's the thimerosal that remains in flu vaccines.
"I have no doubt that injecting a potent neurotoxin into babies is a really, really bad idea," Handley said of thimerosal. "Do I think it's the only thing (that's unsafe)? I have no idea."

• • •

The alarm that Handley and others is sounding reverberates around the country.
On a recent morning, Tampa pediatrician Marcy Baker spent 15 minutes with a worried mother, explaining why a flu shot would protect her child. Baker thought she had won her over, only to learn the mother changed her mind and refused the shot.
Baker and her partners posted a letter to parents, trying to dispel fears, which they hear more and more often. When Baker talks to reluctant parents, she speaks of children she has seen hospitalized with whooping cough, meningitis and rotavirus.
"I do feel my patients trust me," Baker said. "But sometimes they think that I'm duped by 'the man.' That the government and the vaccine companies, they're all in on this big conspiracy."
Some doubting parents make their way to Tampa pediatrician David Berger. He believes vaccines may be linked not only to autism, but to asthma, allergies and other problems of the immune system.
About a third of his parents don't vaccinate, Berger said, and most of the others delay their babies' shots.
"If parents educate themselves, and they feel it's not in the best interest of their child, then who are we to tell them otherwise?" he asked.
Berger knows most doctors disagree. He also says his patients are less likely to be exposed to childhood diseases because the parents tend to breast-feed, and since they're more affluent, they keep their babies at home and out of day care for the first year.
But he thinks most government scientists aren't really listening to legitimate questions.
"There's a big incentive at the government and industry level to not let this get out," he said.

• • •

Some in the antivaccine movement call Dr. Paul Offit the Antichrist. He laughs at the name.
"I'm just one of the devil's many humble servants."
The joke might seem strange from a career pediatrician who helped develop a vaccine that health officials say could save 2,000 lives a day worldwide.
But Offit, chief of infectious diseases at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, lives on the front lines of the vaccine debate. Director of the hospital's Vaccine Education Center, he has written two books on vaccines and pulls no punches. He has gotten death threats.
Critics target Offit not only for his outspokenness, but also because he's making money from a vaccine he helped develop to prevent rotavirus, a disease that causes potentially fatal vomiting and diarrhea.
"I see myself as a champion of children. That's why I went into pediatrics," Offit said.
He knows parents dislike seeing children get painful shots.
"What really upsets people is that their child is pinned down and injected with a biological agent that they don't really understand," Offit said. "But in many ways, they're safer than vitamins."
So he sees why stories on the dangers of vaccines resonate with parents.
"It's very easy to scare people," Offit said. "It's very hard to un­scare them."

• • •

The nation's largest medical agencies point out that vaccines have saved countless lives from diseases such as polio, diphtheria and meningitis. But even vaccine advocates acknowledge they don't say this loudly enough.
"I think they've been doing a terrible job informing parents," said Amy Pisani, executive director of the group Every Child By Two. "We want to say, 'Hey, listen to the CDC,' but we don't hear them, ever."
When experts do speak up, their words lack the same punch for many parents as the emotional stories about families' valiant struggles against autism.
And then there's the media.
Both sides of the debate say reporters cover the issue poorly. Doctors say reporters focus too much on a relative few critics and too little on the weight of the science. Those who question vaccines say reporters don't look at flaws in such studies.
Gary Schwitzer directs the master's in health journalism program at the University of Minnesota. He said that journalists' delight in controversy and focus on objectivity have distorted the science.
"We helped create that (controversy) with this sort of tennis-match approach to covering conflicts in science," Schwitzer said. Stories often give equal weight to provaccine and antivaccine views. "This equally weighted back and forth ... usually that's not the way it is in science, but that's the way the story is told."
+ Read more: is.gd/8J28

Video’s, Behavior Modification, Safety and the Great Escape!!!

I told Nicky no videos, computers, DVR or DVD’s for the day. He wasn't going for it. So armed with two video's and a DVD he set off into the neighborhood in search of technology !!! My kid's a problem solver :)

Nicky is completely obsessed with videos, computers, DVR and DVD’s and this love began way before he showed signs of autism. In these pictures he's not yet two and he's moving a chair to climb up, and put a video in a DVD player! Not just to watch, but his passion is to rewind, over and over and over again. He can rewind one part for hours. The problem, rewinding is like a drug for him. The more he rewinds, the more he wants to rewind, and the more he wants to rewind the more stimulated he becomes resulting is total meltdown.

It’s a vicious cycle that never ends well. When he is asked to stop he is so overwhelmed that he can’t function, he get’s aggressive and he can’t think of anything else and he says’ over and over the name of the video. When he get’s super over stimulated he can’t sleep and he wakes up in the night and goes looking for video’s. His frustration tolerance is so low he can be set off for no reason at all. He can’t focus at school, all day long he repeats over and over “video later, two video’s later” and there seems to be no way to stop him.

This behavior is so intense we have been known to remove all of the video’s from the house and we never take him to the library where they are for rent. This behavior is so severe that is disrupts his ability to do anything positive. However, he dearly loves them. So under the direction of his current behavior team we have included his video time, as part of his free time between 7:30 and 8:00 in the evening when he can pick an activity. This way he can't rewind long enough to get overstimulated.

Seemed like a good plan, just one hitch.....

This morning his usual therapist canceled so he and I were home alone and his routine was disrupted. He wanted to watch video's I said "No" not until tonight, he got angry, but soon calmed down. I was working with him on his favorite puzzles and books. All seemed to be going well. He was sitting doing a puzzle and I went to the restroom and asked our Saturday cleaning lady to keep an ear open for him. Three minutes later I hear "Donna! Nicky's at our house!". I run out of the bathroom to find my neighbor. She tells me "Nicky is at our house. He came in with some video's found our TV, turned everything on, moved the kids and put in his videos. I tried to move him but he's too strong" She looked frantic (as Nicky had never been in her house before) and the fact that he just walked right in and made himself at home was clearly unsettling. I was upset because NICKY WENT OUT OF THE HOUSE AND WENT ACROSS THE STREET BY HIMSELF AND HE HAS LITTLE OR NO DANGER AWARENESS!!!!! However, I held it together and went in their house. I directed Nicky to shut down their equipment, close the cabinet's and apologize. In the background was the kids grandmother, who spoke broken english, talking in an excited slightly stunned voice "He's very smart, he's very smart, he just came right in, found TV, found video, turned it on, so fast, so smart". They were all staring and I just wanted to leave...quickly, so we did.

I got Nicky back, took a deep breath and reminded myself that no one had actually been harmed and then I told him again that he can't leave the house without mom. We then packed up and went out for a while. When we got back 3 hours later he was calm and there was no talk of video's. Nonetheless, to be on the safe side I locked the back gate making it impossible for him to repeat his AM run. We came in the house and I asked him to do his play bins or puzzles. He went for the puzzles and I began putting away the groceries. Then I heard what sounded like the front door open! I drop the groceries and run for the front door. Nicky video's in hand is running down the street to our neighbors again!!!! Feeling out smarted I run, I catch him, bring him back and dead bolt the front door and pray we don't have a fire that requires our immediate exit! Now what am I going to do this kid is so determined.

A few minutes later I laughed to myself. That kid he is so smart. He was thinking "Who does she think she is telling me no video's. Oh... I can have video's and I am going to have video's if I have to do it myself" and he did. He made a series of astounding choices and assumptions as the left the house, he choose the back door as soon as I was out of the room and he thought he could go un noticed, he selected the one house on the street with kids his age, deducing that they too must have videos, then in his second escape he knew I would be tuned into the back, so he creeped out the front door. Incredible I thought. This is an amazing example of problem solving. I found that I could shift from just thinking about the fear of danger perspective to the ...wow am I proud of my really smart kid kiddo is motivated to get the job done.

So, this event that was scary became a reminders of how smart he is, and how typical he is. What kid wouldn't be trying to figure out a way, to get their way.

Yes, I still have to figure out how to keep him in, but I sure am proud that he can solve a problem when he needs to :-)

Saying Goodbye to a Friend

Today I said goodbye to my friend, Jheryl Busby, who died on election day. I had heard that Jheryl was sick but no one had prepared me for the toll his illness had taken on his body. When I saw him earlier this year he seemed frail and looked years beyond his age. I was stunned and I remember just hugging him for a really long time. I just held on, I was deeply saddened that he was ill and that so much time had passed and I had not seen this wonderful person. So we just hugged. He invited me for a duck dinner at his home and we talked for a while. Within minutes I no longer saw the sick man, I only heard the laugh, saw the twinkle in his sincere eyes and the joy of his smile. I was reminded in that moment that Jheryl was not his body, he was never his body he was always an amazing spirit.

I met Jheryl more than 20 years ago. When I met him I knew he was extraordinary. It had nothing to do with his business success or current title, it had everything to do with his incredible spirit. During the years we worked together he both endeared me and made me furious. However, his spirit was so much bigger than “business” that I couldn’t stay furious with Jheryl, no matter how many phones calls he didn’t return, clients he ticked off, or the number of projects that didn’t get completed. Because even then Jheryl was not his body he was a precious soul, that burst out of his body through his laugh, his passion, and his genuine love for people.

Jheryl was the man that when people had just met him they would walk away feeling like they had a new best friend, a true confidant. Because, you knew he cared. If you were in a crowded room and there was a line of folks waiting to talk him, he would not take his attention off of the person he was talking to, because at that moment, that person was all that was important.

I was so struck by his spirit and his ability to convey his love of people, that whenever I would find myself in a room full of strangers, or just feeling off balance, or in a conversation where I knew I wasn’t connected; I would bring up an image of Jheryl in my mind. I would put on what I called by “Jheryl Jacket” and I would see myself channeling his spirit. Then I could easily take all of the attention off of me and focus myself fully on who I was talking to. In my “Jheryl Jacket” my goal was listen, really listen and to make every interaction I had valuable for the other person.

That’s the gift that Jheryl gave to me. I will miss you JB, but I know that there is a piece of your legacy that will forever live through me and no doubt in many many others. You left a big footprint behind on your way out!

Thank you for being my friend.

President Elect Obama working for Autism!!

President-Elect Barack Obama Drafts Federal Autism Insurance Mandate Bill

Wow! Earlier this week I wrote about my conversation with then Senator Obama and how confident that I felt about him helping our children. Well he's not in office yet, however President-Elect Obama has already drafted comprehensive autism legislation, including a section addressing a broad based federal autism insurance mandate.

I pulled this statement today from Autism Speaks. Enjoy everyone.

In his Presidential campaign statement on Autism Spectrum Disorders, President-Elect Obama committed to bringing autism insurance reform to the entire nation. The statement stated that Obama and Biden "will mandate insurance coverage of autism treatment and will also continue to work with parents, physicians, providers, researchers, and schools to create opportunities and effective solutions for people with ASD." For the complete campaign statement, and to read the draft legislation, go to www.autismvotes.org, and be sure to sign up to receive action alerts pertaining to this important initiative.

Every "Body" has a place - This Is Inspiring!

The spirit of the human soul is greater than our bodies. You have to see this and know that we are all here for a reason. Lean on this young man's strength and his ability to find an amazing gift where seemingly none existed!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2I0DRk8dFjI

I believe in my heart that everything happens for a reason. No matter how bad it seems in the moment I always believe it will all be okay. I know adversity is the part of life that gives birth to opportunity. It's a easy belief when things are going my way and it's pretty easy to hold on to this belief during life's smaller challenges. I've learned over time that as the challenges get larger, it gets harder to believe. When I am faced with really difficult challenges, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I get there. When faced the challenges where I see no light and I just can't imagine the reason and I can't imagine the good and my expectations are so shattered that I can't see past my disappointment, anger and pain, I can lose my faith that all things happen for a reason and it will be okay.

The grief I felt when my Nicky was diagnosed was one of those dark times for me, but I learned in time that everything was okay and I know that he is here for a reason. Maybe he's here to make me a better person, or to drive me to help others. He's an angel, he embodies a joy and directness that eludes most people, maybe he's here to remind people they too have this pure joy inside. He attends our local elementary school and is fully included in a regular ed. classroom. Because he can do things that many of his "typical" classmates cannot, like complicated puzzles and reading before they did, or not being afraid of the tallest roller coaster at Magic Mountain, they have embraced him. So in his young life he has changed his classmates perceptions about disabilities. Because of him they think more in terms of "different abilities".

Thank God for the Nick's in the world who show us how to live and find our special gift no matter the circumstances. Thank you Nicky Jones and thank you Nick!.

Autism and Politics

Over the past few months I have listened to many families with special needs kids get excited about Sarah Palins commitment to special needs children. I was very happy to watch her bring Downs Syndrome and Autism center stage in this important election. Everyone needs to know about out kids, our challenges and get on board as a community to support our most vulnerable citizens. I however, did not believe the Palin/McCain political campaign promise to get IDEA fully funded. I believe in the idea and the hope and like all families impacted by a disability I know this funding would make the world of difference for so many people. However, given our country’s current economic crisis I could not imagine how IDEA could get fully funded without raising tax's, and in light of the recent financial bailout I thought this was a campaign promise that could not happen. Folks have been unsuccessful in their fight to get IDEA fully funded when we were not in financial crisis, hence I was angry that this carrot was offered as part of a campaign, even if it was offered in earnest.

I am an Obama supporter and I believe if he is successful in the reforms he has proposed our children will benefit. I believe this not only because of what I have heard in the news but because of what he said to me personally. In October of 2007 I was invited to a small gathering to meet Senator Obama and to learn about his campaign. At the time my only real thoughts of him where what I had seen and hear surrounding his speech at the 2004 democratic convention; he was a very sharp young man with a exciting future ahead. I didn’t get warm fuzzies about Hillary but in my mind she was the presumptive nominee and I was excited about having a female president.

As the 70 to 80 guests walked about enjoying fabulous food and a beautiful day in Malibu most were talking about this new guy they were curious about. Why had some Entertainment Moguls abandoned Hillary and endorsed this guy? Why? Who was he?

Again, I didn’t know enough to have a thought but I was excited to be there. After an hour of folks eating and talking, Senator Obama came into the yard rolled up his sleeves and spoke about why he was running for president. He was running because he believed he could make a difference, he believed that our country was off track and we deserved better and that perhaps it was the new guy, and not the old guard that could make a difference. I felt goose bumps on my arms, as I was touched by his genuine candor, passion and conviction. After laying out his platform and telling us what was “different about him” he offered to take questions. My hand seemed to fly into the air and take my body with it, and I was on my feet waving my hand like a kindergartner. I think he actually meant to call on a lady behind me, but I was so animated he had to take us both.

When my turn came, I asked “Senator Obama I am a single mom, a business owner, a minority and the mother of a child with a severe developmental disability, Autism. Healthcare and entitlement systems are inadequate to care for my son. My son is part of an epidemic that our society would prefer to ignore or at least not help. I pay $700 a month to my medical insurance company who provide limited coverage and routinely try to cancel us. Their position autism is not an Insurance covered diagnosis. It is horrific that the most fragile of our society are treated with such disregard by insurance agencys. That said, Hillary worked so hard for get universal health care, she had passion, intelligence, a great team of brilliant thinkers and support, yet she failed. Why do you think you can be successful?”

Senator Obama took a deep breath and said “I am familiar with Autism and I am sorry”. “I believe I can make a difference, because I will not accept no for an answer. I will bring everyone to the table with a mandate that this must be done. All Americans are entitled to healthcare. I acknowledge that all sides will have to give something up, and a lot of people will not be happy about giving something up. I know it will be difficult, but I will not approach it like an option it will be a mandate and I will work until we find a solution”.

He went on to answer a few questions before his team scooped him up and took him inside his host’s home. My guest and I were so engaged in conversation we didn’t even notice that most of the group had departed. When we looked up the crowds had disappeared. I looked up and there stood Senator Obama with his team in tow. He stopped and I showed him a picture of my son and he said “I know this is tough I’m familiar with Autism and we will help”. He then faced the beach. His team began to direct him to the exit for his next stop and he raised his right hand in a motion of no, wait and he said “Hey guys I’m at the Ocean, It’s a beautiful day, I just need a minute to look at the water”. It was in that moment that I was the most moved. For all the busy plans and elections to win, this man knew the importance of appreciating this planet and the simple joys of the moment. That’s when he had my vote and my heart.

A little over a year later, it’s time to vote and I’m anxious and excited. I am excited because if Obama accomplished nothing other than showing that in America anything really is possible. A little known African American Senator can run for president and get the nomination of the Democratic Party. With the right stuff “one of us- any one of us” can unite millions of Americans and get them organized in a way this country has never seen and let the world know that as a country we are no longer collectively bound by the real and perceived limitations of racism. This is something every American should be proud of, I sure am.

As a parent of a special needs child I believe if we can overcome racism as a country we can overcome "ableism" and create better lives for our children.