How do we define
the most vulnerable in our communities? Typically, we think of the sick, the elderly, homeless and the physically and mentally disabled. But that’s not really it, is it?
Today after watching George Floyd beg for his life while he laid on the ground handcuffed, struggling to breath while an officer of the law held his head down with his knee, until he died. To hear George, beg for his life and then call out for his mother as he took his last breaths ripped me to my core, as it should every mother and every human being.
Sadly we have added African American Males to the list of vulnerable
populations, maybe even the endangered species list because they are not safe
or protected in America. As a mother of
a son who checks two of the boxes that make him vulnerable; Mental Health and African
American. The older he gets the more
frightened I get. My son does not
understand social guidelines, he looks like a typical grown man, but when it
comes to understanding danger or the concept of social appropriateness, he is
like a 3-year-old.
Nick my beautiful boy does not know what
a crime is. He does not know what molestation is, he has no “Spider Sense” that
informs him when something is off or simply not right.
He does not know it’s not okay to stare or walk right up to little kids
to see their T shirts with characters from cartoons he loves like Winnie the
Pooh, or the characters from Frozen. He does
not understand the importance or the implications of a Policeman yelling “Stop”,
or “Take your hands out of your pockets.
As a mom it breaks my heart to know that my son is an endangered species. To me he is a beautiful boy, to others a potential threat. My son is not valued by our communities
and he is NOT safe in this country and this brings a degree of sadness to me
that I can’t even totally articulate.
I have been writing about this for years, this is not new.
I just always hoped it would get better.
As I pulled up some of my past posts, I am reminded that things are not
better. You can read a few of my old
posts below.
I am so grateful I am in a position to keep a constant eye
on my son and to never have him go out alone. I have always been proud to hire
other African American men to be his aids, and now I am sad and embarrassed to
say, I wonder if that is a good decision. If the police see two African American men
together will that increase his odds of an altercation with Police? Will the police
be more defiant when confronting two men of color? The facts tell me yes, and now I have to explore
making unfair decisions if I want to keep my child safe.
Once again, be afraid be very afraid.
Sadly we have added African American Males to the list of vulnerable
populations, maybe even the endangered species list because they are not safe
or protected in America. As a mother of
a son who checks two of the boxes that make him vulnerable; Mental Health and African
American. The older he gets the more
frightened I get. My son does not
understand social guidelines, he looks like a typical grown man, but when it
comes to understanding danger or the concept of social appropriateness, he is
like a 3-year-old. 
Nick my beautiful boy does not know what
a crime is. He does not know what molestation is, he has no “Spider Sense” that
informs him when something is off or simply not right.
He does not know it’s not okay to stare or walk right up to little kids
to see their T shirts with characters from cartoons he loves like Winnie the
Pooh, or the characters from Frozen. He does
not understand the importance or the implications of a Policeman yelling “Stop”,
or “Take your hands out of your pockets. 
I have been writing about this for years, this is not new. I just always hoped it would get better. As I pulled up some of my past posts, I am reminded that things are not better. You can read a few of my old posts below.
I've been writing about this for years below are a few older posts that tell the story.....................................
Saturday, August
1, 2015
I wasn't there, when
the shooting occurred. I just heard people talking about how they couldn't
drive on Laurel Canyon because the police had it cordoned off. Then I turned on
the news to hear a man had a gun, and the police shot him. My first thought was
sadness in general for a terrible situation. The next morning I scanned the
internet to find out what had happened, and I read this:
“He was just firing
into the air while there were children and parents walking around. He was just
firing into the air,” Keshishyan said. “Police showed up, and they told him
to drop his weapon…He wasn’t listening.” Witnesses said he fired at least one shot in
the air and then police opened fire.
After police tried to
negotiate with the man for about five minutes, the man “held up his gun and
aimed toward the police, and that’s when they shot him,” Keshishyan said.
Another witness, Wyatt
Torosian, said police fired two shots, sending the “bedraggled” man back and
killing him in front of the Union Bank building.
“That was it for the
man. It was very dramatic,” Torosian said. Torosian, who was inside a
nearby Starbucks, said he was told the man had fired into the air. A third
witness described five or six shots being fired by the man.
The armed man hadn’t
aimed at any other people on the street, Keshishyan said. He had held
up some kind of object that appeared to be in a bag toward police and then put
it back down, she said “And they shot him”.
What I hear in this
news report - and please know I am biased in support of those who cannot speak
for themselves - this individual did pose a threat to our community, and he
did not seem to comprehend the officer's directives. This
should not have been a death sentence. 1 in every 54 boys in
this country has Autism, and lack the social skills to survive a situation with
Law Enforcement. I'm afraid for my son. Lord knows, there has to be a
better way.
Monday, August
3, 2015
Execution by Mental Illness Part 2 ; No Flowers When People with
Mental Illness are Killed by Police?.
Armed Man ‘Firing Into the
Air’ Shot by LAPD in Studio City, Prompting Bomb Squad Response.
and...
LAPD
chief says Studio City shooting was a 'suicide by cop'
The night
before Seth Raines was shot to death by Los Angeles police in Studio City, a
chaplain in a skid row homeless shelter pleaded with him not to leave.
I just see his shining, cheerful face and blue eyes.- The Rev. Andrew Bales, Union
Rescue Mission
Beck said
Raines, identified later by the county coroner, had what police thought was an
explosive device: natural gas cylinders with wiring connecting them to a
cellphone. The device wasn't explosive, Beck said, but was so convincing that
the LAPD deployed a bomb robot to detonate it and another object found near the
man's body.
"Of
course, we still have much investigation to do and the final conclusions have
not been reached, but the only conclusion we've come to at this time is that
this was a suicide by cop," Beck said. "All those things are very
consistent with somebody that wanted to take their own life."
"Of course, we still have much investigation to do and the final conclusions have not been reached, but the only conclusion we've come to at this time is that this was a suicide by cop," Beck said. "All those things are very consistent with somebody that wanted to take their own life."
Sunday, March
21, 2010
Fatal Shooting of a Man with ASD
Last night my
quiet street was turned into an episode of "Cops" reality TV as 11
police cars with blaring sirens and flashing lights wrapped up a city wide car
case in front on my house! When I saw police; yelling at the driver and running
with shot guns all I could think about was get the kids and don’t let
go of Nicky or he might end up dead. I watched the driver, a young man finally
come out of his car,get down on his knees and follow the officers commands. I
was relieved when he was arrested and no gun fire had been exchanged.
If you don't have, or don't know a child with Autism, you might think this
sounds dramatic. But if you know our kids, you know how vulnerable they are.
They lack understanding of social dangers and if the police yelled, "Get
Back", "Stop", "Hands over your head", "Drop to
your knees" these commands could mean nothing. Our kids might jump up and
down or flap their hands, or laugh and in the end, our innocent children could
be shot, maybe even fatally, because their actions would be mis-read by the
police, who do not have the ability - especially in tense situations- to
recognize autism.
Seeing this scenario flooded my mind with visions of what could happen to my
son if he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I kept imagining what Nicky
might do if he was suddenly surrounded by police, guns drawn, yelling. I
managed to push images of him being shot as tense police shouted directions to
him, which he didn't understand. I finally pushed my fear out of my mind and
went to sleep. Then I woke up to the headline “27 Year Old Man with Autism
Fatally Shot By LAPD”.
I am a parent of male, African American with Autism. I live in a city where the
police have been trained to shoot to kill and have not received adequate
training in identifying and communicating with individuals with developmental
disabilities, including Autism. I do not believe it was an accident the police
chase ended in front of my house. I think it was my WAKE UP CALL, that we have
not yet found a way to safely and successfully include individuals with autism
into our communities.
With one in every 80 boys diagnosed with ASD, we are all living with autism. We
will all be touched by a person who has autism; in our schools, churches,
families or work. As a civilized society, we know that individuals with autism
deserve to be treated with the same dignity and respect as any member of our
community. As a civilized society we must demand that ALL first responders get
adequate training in recognizing ASD before another life is lost. The story
from the Los Angeles Times is below. I hope you will find the time to read it
and I hope it moves you to do what you can.
Police fatally shoot unarmed man in Koreatown
Steven Eugene Washington, 27, didn't respond to commands and seemed to reach
for a weapon, officers say. Relatives say he had learning disabilities and was
generally afraid of strangers.
Frankie Washington mourns the death of her nephew. Relatives say that Steven
Eugene Washington, 27, was not a violent man and that he probably was walking
home after visiting a friend. (Barbara Davidson / Los Angeles Times / March 20,
2010)
Los Angeles Police officers shot and killed a man in Koreatown early Saturday
morning after he reached into his waistband for what officers believed was a
weapon, authorities said.
Steven Eugene Washington, 27, died from a single gunshot wound to the head
shortly after midnight.
Although no weapon was found, officers said they feared for their lives because
Washington did not respond to their commands and appeared to be reaching for
his waistband.
Hours after the shooting, Washington's relatives criticized police and said the
dead man had suffered from learning disabilities and was generally afraid of
strangers. They insisted that he was not violent and that he probably was
walking home after visiting a friend.
Police identified the gang enforcement officers involved as Allan Corrales and
George Diego, who have served nearly seven and eight years with the department,
respectively. Both have been reassigned until the probe is completed, police
said.
Corrales and Diego were driving south on Vermont Avenue near James M. Wood
Boulevard shortly after midnight in a marked police car when they heard a loud
sound, according to police. They turned the car around and saw Washington
walking north on Vermont while looking around and touching something in his
waistband area.
The officers spoke to Washington, but he approached them and seemed to remove
something from his waistband, police said.
Corrales and Diego believed "he was arming himself" and fired,
Assistant Chief Earl Paysinger said at an afternoon news conference.
"The officers made decisions in a fraction of a second," he added.
It appears the officers fired once each, Paysinger said. It's unclear which
bullet struck Washington.
Washington's family said he was autistic and had learning disabilities but
enjoyed riding the bus and trains. He was taking classes at a community college
and wanted to become a mechanic. He often took the Metro Red Line subway to
visit friends and was probably walking to his home a few blocks to the south,
his family said.
Washington was generally wary around strangers and sometimes shy even around
family members.
"That's what we lost today: a kid," said his aunt, Vickie Thompson.
jason.song@latimes.com
If you don't have, or don't know a child with Autism, you might think this sounds dramatic. But if you know our kids, you know how vulnerable they are. They lack understanding of social dangers and if the police yelled, "Get Back", "Stop", "Hands over your head", "Drop to your knees" these commands could mean nothing. Our kids might jump up and down or flap their hands, or laugh and in the end, our innocent children could be shot, maybe even fatally, because their actions would be mis-read by the police, who do not have the ability - especially in tense situations- to recognize autism.
Seeing this scenario flooded my mind with visions of what could happen to my son if he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I kept imagining what Nicky might do if he was suddenly surrounded by police, guns drawn, yelling. I managed to push images of him being shot as tense police shouted directions to him, which he didn't understand. I finally pushed my fear out of my mind and went to sleep. Then I woke up to the headline “27 Year Old Man with Autism Fatally Shot By LAPD”.
I am a parent of male, African American with Autism. I live in a city where the police have been trained to shoot to kill and have not received adequate training in identifying and communicating with individuals with developmental disabilities, including Autism. I do not believe it was an accident the police chase ended in front of my house. I think it was my WAKE UP CALL, that we have not yet found a way to safely and successfully include individuals with autism into our communities.
With one in every 80 boys diagnosed with ASD, we are all living with autism. We will all be touched by a person who has autism; in our schools, churches, families or work. As a civilized society, we know that individuals with autism deserve to be treated with the same dignity and respect as any member of our community. As a civilized society we must demand that ALL first responders get adequate training in recognizing ASD before another life is lost. The story from the Los Angeles Times is below. I hope you will find the time to read it and I hope it moves you to do what you can.
Police fatally shoot unarmed man in Koreatown
Steven Eugene Washington, 27, didn't respond to commands and seemed to reach for a weapon, officers say. Relatives say he had learning disabilities and was generally afraid of strangers.
Frankie Washington mourns the death of her nephew. Relatives say that Steven Eugene Washington, 27, was not a violent man and that he probably was walking home after visiting a friend. (Barbara Davidson / Los Angeles Times / March 20, 2010)
Los Angeles Police officers shot and killed a man in Koreatown early Saturday morning after he reached into his waistband for what officers believed was a weapon, authorities said.
Steven Eugene Washington, 27, died from a single gunshot wound to the head shortly after midnight.
Although no weapon was found, officers said they feared for their lives because Washington did not respond to their commands and appeared to be reaching for his waistband.
Hours after the shooting, Washington's relatives criticized police and said the dead man had suffered from learning disabilities and was generally afraid of strangers. They insisted that he was not violent and that he probably was walking home after visiting a friend.
Police identified the gang enforcement officers involved as Allan Corrales and George Diego, who have served nearly seven and eight years with the department, respectively. Both have been reassigned until the probe is completed, police said.
Corrales and Diego were driving south on Vermont Avenue near James M. Wood Boulevard shortly after midnight in a marked police car when they heard a loud sound, according to police. They turned the car around and saw Washington walking north on Vermont while looking around and touching something in his waistband area.
The officers spoke to Washington, but he approached them and seemed to remove something from his waistband, police said.
Corrales and Diego believed "he was arming himself" and fired, Assistant Chief Earl Paysinger said at an afternoon news conference.
"The officers made decisions in a fraction of a second," he added.
It appears the officers fired once each, Paysinger said. It's unclear which bullet struck Washington.
Washington's family said he was autistic and had learning disabilities but enjoyed riding the bus and trains. He was taking classes at a community college and wanted to become a mechanic. He often took the Metro Red Line subway to visit friends and was probably walking to his home a few blocks to the south, his family said.
Washington was generally wary around strangers and sometimes shy even around family members.
"That's what we lost today: a kid," said his aunt, Vickie Thompson.
jason.song@latimes.com
Monday, July 25,
2016
Unarmed Behavior Therapist Shot While Working With Autistic
Client
This is one more in my series of be afraid, be very afraid.
Imagine your autistic son on a walk with this behaviorist, someone calls 911
because they think the autistic man’s toy truck in a gun and when the police
arrive despite the therapist calmly explaining the situation (while laying on
the ground with his hands up) the police shoot the therapist. They
explain they were actually aiming for his client! What the heck! All I can say
is the therapist handled it perfectly, and if you work with behaviorist you might
want to see what training they have in the event of police engagement.
Random or not, this shows what is possible and we are better of if we
prepare those around us.
Wednesday, May 28,
2008
Juvenile Justice??? The system and our kids
Today when talking to friends about our kids and the legal
system I was reminded of an editorial I wrote with my Special Needs Network
co-founder (it's below). It was disheartening when Nicky was 8, but now that he
is ten and inching closer to being a teenager it's getting scarier. A friend of
mine said that she was afraid her son would get shot by the police one day. She
envisioned someone - who just committed a crime - would stumble into her
unaware child, ask him to hold a gun, he would say "yes", and then the
police would come running in and yell "Stop", her son wouldn't
understand and he would be shot. Only when it was too late would they know, he
had no idea what was happening.
For all that we have on our plates, and I know it's a lot. The truth is we have
much to do and much needs to be done. Our kids are positioned to be victims of
the justice system, this is not a fearful projection, but a documented reality.
It scares me just to think about it. Because I am so afraid of this I have
taken some little action. I have introduced all of my neighbors to Nicky so
they can be on the look out for him, should something ever happen on our
street. I've attended police training programs where the officers on the street
get information on how to recognize our kids. And now that I'm thinking about
it I think I will take Nicky to our local police station and introduce him
around. Who knows maybe one day it will save his life.
Here's the editorial that got me all wound up again!!!
For all that we have on our plates, and I know it's a lot. The truth is we have much to do and much needs to be done. Our kids are positioned to be victims of the justice system, this is not a fearful projection, but a documented reality. It scares me just to think about it. Because I am so afraid of this I have taken some little action. I have introduced all of my neighbors to Nicky so they can be on the look out for him, should something ever happen on our street. I've attended police training programs where the officers on the street get information on how to recognize our kids. And now that I'm thinking about it I think I will take Nicky to our local police station and introduce him around. Who knows maybe one day it will save his life.
Here's the editorial that got me all wound up again!!!
Sunday, August
26, 2012
Handicapped Children Restrained, Confined, Abused and Murdered -
A headline from today, not the 1800's.
Like lots of other days I jumped online to see if there is
anything really pressing going on in the world involving our kids that I would
want to share. What I found today was my worst nightmare, headlines
of abuse and torture of our kids. I stumbled upon a website called Autism
News.com and a headline that read, "Handicapped Children
Restrained, Confined, Abused and Murdered", followed by videos and stories
so horrible I went and grabbed Nicky and didn't want to let him go.
I looked at these articles and I thought,"Yes, some parents
are driven to extremes. Some people are just ignorant and don't know what to do
with our kids and so they make really hideous choices, then justify
their actions." I also know that there are some straight up bad people in
the world who should never be within 100 feet of a child. But oddly, the truly
hideous people are not the ones who scare me the most, it's the people who are
not evil. These are individuals in legitimate positions; police, parents,
educators, therapist, aides who live normal lives and would never be considered
as menaces to society. They are people who, under extreme circumstances are
afraid, or are ignorant, frustrated, careless or simply neglectful, and as a
result make really bad decisions. As a community it's these people we all
have to be diligent and keep our eyes open for, seeing with our
hearts, not our brains, open to the truth about how every human deserves to be
treated...NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!
Autism News
website: http://www.autismnews.com/index.html
Wednesday,
January 19, 2011
Germs aren’t the scariest things inside! - Success in Public
Restrooms
Restrooms in
public places are one of those little things that have been a challenge for
years. Not only because of Nicky’s ASD but because I’m a single mom
of a boy, which means there’s typically not a guy around to take him in the
restroom. I never thought much of how families automatically divided by sex to
take their kids into public restrooms; but now as a single mom raising a boy I
notice.
Until recently I
didn’t let Nicky go into public men’s rooms alone; because he was too young,
and then I was afraid he might not be safe. I remember when he
went into a crowded boy’s room during school and was over stimulated by all the
kids’ movements and noises. Unable to focus, little man came out of
the stall before getting his pants up, began jumping up and down, making noises
and flapping his arms. One of his flapping hands hit a boy, and the
boy turned around and punched him in the mouth! He stood there
bleeding - clueless about what to do, what happened or why - when one of the
kids from his class yelled out “Somebody help Nicky!” Combine this
with all imagined scenarios - from predators to just inappropriate, and there’s
enough “what if’s” to keep me taking him in the ladies’ room
forever!
Okay, I know
that’s not an option. I don’t want to be the mom who you see
sneaking her mustache growing teenage son into public ladies’ rooms
ignoring how he might feel and avoiding how uncomfortable the other women
in the restroom feel. The option of inflecting torture by making him
wait for a “safe” place to potty doesn’t seem like such a good idea
either. Did I just say “Potty”? Yikes!
Okay, once again
I’m forced to grow up because he is, weather I like it or not! With his
behaviorist we have created a restroom (not pottyJ) protocol plan and here it is.
There is an action list for Nicky. The list is posted on the door of
the restroom he uses at home. We started doing this at home and once he
got the hang of it we began going over the list when he's in the
community/school with his male therapist. Once he got it, I began using it in
the community.
Before he goes in
the restroom we review the steps with him:
Outside in the
community mom repeats to herself:
Sunday, June 22,
2014
Half of All Autistic Kids Will Run Away
This post is not for parents of kids with autism, it's for everyone
else! This article paints a clear picture about "eloping" or
"wandering" and our kids. Please consider forwarding or
re-posting in our effort to create a community safety net for our kids through
education.
 |
Our kids don't have to be a statistic.
|
Half of
All Autistic Kids Will Run Away, Tragedy Often Follows
way from
home before their 17th birthday. Many of them die, often by drowning.
Within
hours one day in April, two children went missing hundreds of miles apart from
each other.
On the
surface they appear to have little in common.
Angelo
Messineo is a 16-year-old from Georgia. He was found alive on a horse farm four
days after he disappeared from school on April 16. Alyvia Navarro, 3, of
Wareham, Mass., was pronounced dead hours after she was reported missing,
drowned in a pond near her grandmother's home, on the same day.
They are
just two of the thousands of children who went missing last month.
But
Angelo and Alyvia have one thing in common, and it's a trait shared with at
least one child who goes missing every day in America. They are autistic.
Nearly
half of all children with autism will run away and potentially go missing at
least once before their 17th birthday, according to a study by the American
Academy of Pediatrics. Of those who run away, what clinicians call "eloping," many will be found
dead.
The
numbers alone present a challenge for law enforcement authorities, who
regularly rank searches for missing children among the most difficult work they
do.
But
finding children with autism -- who shirk when their names are called out, who
run away at the sound of police sirens, who are afraid of the dogs sent to find
them, and who naturally are comforted by burrowing and hiding -- makes a hard
job even harder, investigators say.
One in 50
children is diagnosed annually with autism, a spectrum of neurodevelopment disorders
marked by problems with social interaction and communication, according to data
from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta. As the number
of children who are diagnosed increases, so too does the number of kids who run
off, leaving rescuers to learn quickly how best to handle a unique set of
challenges.
The
stories of Angelo and Alyvia, and dozens of children like them, present two
sides of a phenomenon still not entirely understood.
On the
one hand, autistic children are more likely to run away than unaffected
children. When they do runaway, they are more likely to die than unaffected
children. And more often than not, 91 percent of the time, those deaths are a
result of drowning. But what is so perplexing to researchers and rescuers
are the stories like Angelo's. Stories of almost super-human rates of survival
for young children with developmental disabilities, who manage to stay alive
for days often in the wilderness and against staggering odds.
"It's
a mystery," said Robert G. Lowery Jr. of the National Center for Missing
& Exploited Children. "Time and again, we see cases where autistic
children live longer and survive in harsher settings than unaffected children.
We don't really know why. It might be that these children with autism have a
diminished sense of fear, but it's astonishing."
Stories
like Alyvia's are also all too common.
The
3-year-old girl was there, at her grandmother's side at their home at the
Lakeside Trailer Park in Wareham, Mass., and a moment later she was gone.
Twenty-five minutes later, her grandmother Valerie Navarro called the police.
Police, fire, EMS, K-9 units and the nearby harbormaster began a search for the
girl, who was discovered an hour later, according to Wareham police.
A patrol
found the girl in a pond near her grandmother's home, and she was evacuated via
helicopter to a hospital in Boston where she was later pronounced dead.
Girls
More Likely to Die
Calls to
Alyvia's grandmother Valerie Navarro were not returned.
Boys are
four times more likely to be diagnosed with autism, but girls, like Alyvia, are
twice more likely than boys to die after an elopement, according to Lori
McIlwain, executive director of the National Autism Association, which tracks
eloping incidents and deaths.
In 2012,
195 autistic children went missing, according to the autism association, which
only tracks those incidents reported by the media.
Between
2009 and 2011, 91 percent of autistic children younger than 14 died in drowning
incidents after elopements. More than two-thirds of those deaths occurred in
small natural bodies of water like creeks, lakes, rivers and ponds.
"Oftentimes,
children who go missing are low or nonverbal," McIlwain said. "But
they know where a pond is. They see it from the car going to and from school
every day, but they can't tell mom or dad that they want go to the pond and
play. They think about it and when they have the chance, they bolt."
It's a
story all too familiar to Beth Martin, a single mother with three kids, whose
7-year-old daughter Savannah drowned in a pond near her Lawton, Okla., home in
2011.
"My
daughter loved Ramen noodles," Martin said, remembering the Sunday morning
that her daughter died. "I knew I had exactly four minutes. Typically, she
would stare for four minutes, watching the noodles cook. I popped my head
outside to tell my oldest, who's 11, to watch my youngest, who's 2, because I
was going to run to the bathroom. I thought it was safe to go to bathroom."
'I
Couldn't Get Them Both Out of the Water'
Before
the noodles finished cooking, Savannah and her younger brother were gone.
"They
both were missing," Martin said. "I asked the oldest where they went,
but he didn't know. I panicked and looked all over the house and yard. I kept
calling their names. I ran to the highway and then to our neighbors to ask if
they had seen them. I asked my son to wait by the house and he came running to
say he could hear them screaming."
By the
time Martin made it to the half-filled pond on the edge of her property,
Savannah was under the water. Her younger brother, who had been wearing a
padded bicycle helmet, was kept barely afloat by its buoyancy.
"I
couldn't get them both out of the water. … I started to panic and the neighbor
jumped in to pull them out," Martin remembered. "I just collapsed after
that."
Martin
was a conscientious mother. When Savannah was born, doctors told her that her
daughter would never talk or say, "I love you, mommy." Martin worked
with her religiously, and the girl had begun talking. She even knew the lyrics
to her favorite Taylor Swift songs.
She had
enrolled Savannah in kindergarten, registered her for swim lessons, was looking
to install alarms in case she ever ran off, and made a point to teach her
daughter the boundaries on the property.
"I
thought I had spoken with all kinds of experts about raising a child with
Savannah's needs. But I was never told about wandering or about the likelihood
of drowning. No expert ever told me that," Martin said.
In that
way, Martin is like the majority of parents raising children with autism.
Sixty
percent of parents are unaware of the likelihood that their child will elope or
the subsequent risks of death, according to a survey by the National Autism
Association.
The
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children works with law enforcement
agencies across the country to train cops on how best to search for children
with autism.
Deaths
Are Quick and Quiet
"We
make recommendations to law enforcement about things they should be doing
immediately," said Lee Manning, a former Massachusetts state trooper and
now a consultant for the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children.
"[Police]
have to respond very seriously and not waste any time. One of the things we
strongly recommend is to get first responders, even neighbors, dispatched to
local bodies of water right away," said Manning a member of Team Adam, a
nationwide rapid response team of retired cops that helps law enforcement on
the most difficult missing children cases.
Tragedies
like the deaths of Savannah and Alyvia rarely make the front pages of
newspapers or the morning television programs.
Their
deaths are quick and quiet. But there is another class of autistic elopers who
beat the odds with such astonishing results that law enforcement officials and
rescuers are studying them to learn how best to search for runaways in the
future.
On the
same day Alyvia went missing, so did Angelo Messineo.
Angelo is
a 16-year-old boy with a severe form of autism. A ward of the state, he is
nonverbal and prone to violent outbursts. He "bolted from school after
some sort of incident" in Lithonia, Ga., according to investigators.
Police
scoured the woods of DeKalb County, Ga., for four days with few clues. Angelo
was found April 20 on a horse farm 14 miles from where he was last seen. He was
identified by police after an altercation with other teenagers.
He was
taken to a nearby hospital and treated for dehydration.
Calls for
comment to the DeKalb County School District were referred to the National
Center for Missing & Exploited Children.
'They Tend
to Burrow Down and Hide'
Unaffected
children tend to panic, they walk in loops, they take dangerous risks in an
attempt to save themselves, but children with autism tend to "have a
diminished sense of fear," Lowery of the National Center for Missing &
Exploited Children said. "There's a different search criteria for
children with autism. They tend to burrow down and hide. We don't know if it's
because they fear searchers or if it's a kind of game. They seem to realize the
peril they're in," he added
Two of
the largest missing children searches in recent years involved kids with autism.
In 2010,
11-year-old Nadia Bloom was found by a volunteer after spending four days in an
alligator-infested swamp in Florida. She was dehydrated and covered in insect
bites.
In 2011,
the largest manhunt in Virginia history took place more than six days as
volunteers and rescuers scoured a dense forest looking for 8-year-old Robert
Wood Jr., who ran off while visiting a state Civil War park with his father.
Robert
was found alive by a volunteer, who has remained anonymous even to the boy's
family, in a quarry about a mile from where he went missing. When he was found,
he was in a fetal ball and burrowed in the dirt.
The
search for Robert has become an important model for rescuers who conduct
searches for children with autism.
"We
knew never to take him where there was a pond," his grandmother Norma
Williams said. "Like many autistic children, Robert is fearless. He
doesn't feel pain. He doesn't fear heights. He doesn't fear water, but he can't
swim. He'll jump off just about anything."
Many of
the things that attract autistic children, often to their demise, were in the
park trails that connected to rivers, roads and railroad tracks.
For five
nights, Williams camped outside the park in her truck praying and waiting for
news of Robert.
"I
dropped to my knees when they told me he was alive and an investigator helped
to get me back up. I couldn't stop crying," she said. "Robert's feet
were so swollen, his shoes were stuck in mud, he had curled up in a ravine when
the temperature dropped and it began to rain."
Since his
rescue, Robert's family has allowed the local sheriff to outfit him with a
radio anklet similar to those given to prisoners on house arrest, so he can be
tracked if he runs away in the future.
"People
have to understand autistic children aren't like other children," Williams
said. "They're special. They run when they want and do what they want. And
just because they can't speak doesn't mean they're not thinking things.
"If
you went to those woods, you'd see they're so dense the light doesn't come
through. There's coyotes and snakes and spiders.
"How
did he survive? How do they survive? If you don't believe in God, come see
Robert."
Labels: Behavior Challenges, community, Safety
Thursday,
December 12, 2013
When Our Kids Hit Us - The Pain Behind the Impact
If this happened with my daughter, I would be find.
Because it’s Nick and it’s aggression - which is his E ticket out of
society - I’m so upset. I wish I wasn’t, because it WAS an accident, but
I am. for two days I've been asking myself why? Why am I so upset? And I
finally got it. I’m upset because I’m afraid. Afraid if he’s aggressive at
school, in a park, anywhere but here at home other people will not be so
understanding or forgiving. He won’t get the same benefit of the doubt
given a typical person. I’m afraid as I “imagine” what could happen to
him. How do I protect him. This spiral is going nowhere. I have to
tell myself to stop.
Monday, May 6,
2013
Why are Parents Afraid of the "IEP"
I was going over papers, talking to the school nurse and Nick's
teacher in preparation for my son's Tri-annual IEP last week, when I was asked
"You seem anxious, what's an IEP?" I'm so used to
being anxious I didn't notice, but she was right. Before I knew it I
was telling her this story.
IEP stands for Individual Education Plan and it strikes fear in the hearts of
many parents. The terms Tri-annual IEP and Transition IEP can be even more
anxiety provoking because experts - which can include people you and your child
have never met - evaluate your child to provide critical information that
is used to determine services. IEP's are created in meetings where a students
educational team and parents come together to review a students individualized
educational needs to determine what has worked, what's not working and what
would be best moving forward. It sounds good and sometimes it does goes well.
Sometimes the entire team agrees on a plan of class's, transportation, supports
and services to move a student forward.
Parents are afraid of IEP meeting because they offer up a
frightening annual opportunity to learn how many different opinions a group of
adults can have about what best serves a child. All the education
support services a student will keep, gain and loose in the next school
year are at the mercy of the the IEP participants, who may or may not know
anything about your child. From diagnosis (which determines eligibility for
services), school placement, educational goals, classroom placement, behavior
plants, behavior support, speech, OT, APT, behavior plans, transportation, are
all of the table for renegotiation once a year! Not hard to see why parents
feel a little anxiety around the process!
IEP's always have an element of the unknown, as different agendas,
levels of knowledge, belief systems come into play and in the event of a
disagreement the school districts typically have more resources to gain the
upper hand in a dispute. Visions of David and Golliath have been known to come
to mind for many a parent. For example; two weeks before one of Nicky's IEPs,
an aid told me "People have visited his class from the district and one
told me they were trying to see if Nicky no longer needed a behaviorist because
he had good grades". Yikes, there went any calm I was holding on to!!!
Really, good grades??. If this statement was accurate or not - which I will
never know - it is an example of what happens in schools and our communities
when people, even teachers and principles, have deep misconceptions about autism.
There is still a great deal of confusion about behavior and intelligence in
people diagnosed with ASD. For example some people think a person with autism
who has normal intelligence can rely on their intellect to turn off and on
any inappropriate behaviors they have associated with their
diagnosis, or that autism does not mean unable to learn. Or in this case,
when behaviors improve due to intervention, and the success of behavior
intervention is not necessarily proof that the support is no longer needed,
rather it's probably proof that is is needed and working!
I was going over papers, talking to the school nurse and Nick's
teacher in preparation for my son's Tri-annual IEP last week, when I was asked
"You seem anxious, what's an IEP?" I'm so used to
being anxious I didn't notice, but she was right. Before I knew it I
was telling her this story. IEP stands for Individual Education Plan and it strikes fear in the hearts of many parents. The terms Tri-annual IEP and Transition IEP can be even more anxiety provoking because experts - which can include people you and your child have never met - evaluate your child to provide critical information that is used to determine services. IEP's are created in meetings where a students educational team and parents come together to review a students individualized educational needs to determine what has worked, what's not working and what would be best moving forward. It sounds good and sometimes it does goes well. Sometimes the entire team agrees on a plan of class's, transportation, supports and services to move a student forward.
Tuesday,
September 2, 2014
Avontes Tragic Death May Save Other Children with Autism
Danny Oquendo Starts Law School on Mission to Become Legal
Advocate for Autistic Kids
By Checkey Beckford Friday, Aug 22, 2014 • Updated at 6:54
AM EDT
Danny Oquendo is determined to become a lawyer and fulfill his
mission of helping children with autism. http://www.nbcnewyork.com/video/#!/news/local/Danny-Oquendo-Starts-Law-School-on-Mission-to-Become-Legal-Advocate-for-Autistic-Kids/272259521
Avonte Oquendo's older brother is set to begin law school this
week, part of his mission to become a legal advocate to help children with
autism in the wake of his brother's death. Danny Oquendo, 27, passed
the LSAT six years ago and is finally starting New York Law School this week,
inspired by Avonte.
The autistic boy disappeared last October after he ran out of
his Queens school unsupervised. After a months-long search that gripped the
city, Avonte's remains were found in the East
River near College Point in January.
( Video obtained by NBC 4 New York shows 14-year-old Avonte Oquendo
bolting out a door left open by an adult at his Queens school the day he
disappeared. Pei-Sze Cheng reports. ---)
The city's medical examiner ruled that the cause and manner of
Avonte Oquendo's death could not be determined.
Oquendo said the loss taught him a painful but valuable lesson. "You
shouldn't wait for something bad to happen to pursue those dreams because you
could be the person that stops that from happening," said Oquendo. He
now wants to become a legal advocate for children with autism and to make sure
they are "placed in the right programs, making sure they're being watched
after carefully, and that if there's any wrongdoing done, they have legal
representation."
Oquendo's mentor, Gary Mayerson, started the country's first law
firm focused on autism cases. The two met when the firm offered a reward to
find Avonte.
"The more and more we talked, it became obvious he wanted
to go into this area and represent children with special needs, which was so
admirable," said Mayerson.
The family's push for change has already helped to get Avonte's Law passed earlier
this month, aimed at making schools safer for kids with special needs.
Oquendo's dedication to giving a voice to children with autism
and families of children with autism became clear when he wrote a blog post on
the website Autism Speaks in March. In it, Oquendo recalled
the terror and grief he felt following the months of Avonte's disappearance. "Picture
in your mind having a loved one who does not possess the ability to communicate
effectively. Now imagine this loved one lost in the biggest city in the world,
alone, cold, hungry, afraid or worse," Oquendo wrote. "How
you’re feeling right now is just a fraction of the pain we endured for the
months following Avonte’s disappearance. Not knowing whether we would see our
beloved Avonte again ate away our souls," he said.
Oquendo said in the blog he was determined to never let another
family experience the same tragedy.
"While we may never know what exactly happened to my
younger brother, what we can do is help to avoid this tragic event from
happening again," he wrote. "The waves created by this catastrophic
incident will ripple through time forcing immediate change to the current
security standards of schools across the country, starting with the ones here
in New York."
Oquendo said he believed change is possible because he witnessed
just how quickly and tightly New Yorkers banded together in their mission to
find Avonte, calling it "one of the most inspiring events to ever occur in
my lifetime."
Oquendo is set to take an internship at Mayerson's law firm next
summer.
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Thursday, July
1, 2010
Police Taser Autistic Teen with a Heart Condition
We have to find
a way to keep our children with ASD safe. Maybe Medi-Tag or FRAAP will help a
little, but it's just a drop in the bucket until society, and ALL first
responders learn how to recognize and support people with ASD.
Georgia police taser Clifford Grevemberg, an autistic teen with a heart
condition
BY ROSEMARY BLACK
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER
Clifford Grevemberg says that Georgia police used a Taser on him Friday night.
Grevemberg is autistic, and his heart needs regular monitoring, according to his
family. An 18-year-old autistic Georgia youth with a heart condition says
police turned a Taser on him, according to The Associated Press. Officers
arrested Clifford Grevemberg Friday night, says the AP and told his brother,
Dario Mariani, that the teen was drunk and disorderly. But Mariani said
Grevemberg is a special-needs teen who’s never consumed alcohol.
The 170-pound teenager, who’s from Tybee Island, said the police used a Taser
on him twice and threw him to the ground, breaking a front tooth.
“I just wanted to go to sleep,” the teenager told the Savannah Morning News, as
reported by the Examiner.com. “I sat down on the curb and put my head in my
arms, and they stopped me.”
Mariani said he had gone into a restaurant briefly and when he stepped back
out, his handcuffed brother was bleeding and two Taser barbs dangled from his
back.
When he told the police about his brother’s health, "Their eyeballs got
about that big when I told them he has a heart condition," Mariani said.
The autistic teen’s heart must be monitored regularly, according to his family.
After being taken to the Tybee police station, Grevemberg was released.
Yesterday a police dispatcher said that no one was available to comment,
according to The Associated Press.
****
I'm so afraid of this happening to Nicky, our kids are so vulnerable. Did you
know individuals with ASD come into contact with law enforcement 7 times more often
than others. We can't foresee every possibility but we can do something; take
our kids to visit local police stations and firehouses and talk about our kids,
visit with every EMP, police or fireman we encounter in our community, let all
of our neighbors know about our children and our need for everyone to keep an
eye out.
Talk to everyone who will listen about this problem and how to recognize a
person with ASD. If we all just keep talking I believe we will make a
difference. I might save your child and you might save mine.
Georgia police taser Clifford Grevemberg, an autistic teen with a heart condition
BY ROSEMARY BLACK
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER
Clifford Grevemberg says that Georgia police used a Taser on him Friday night. Grevemberg is autistic, and his heart needs regular monitoring, according to his family. An 18-year-old autistic Georgia youth with a heart condition says police turned a Taser on him, according to The Associated Press. Officers arrested Clifford Grevemberg Friday night, says the AP and told his brother, Dario Mariani, that the teen was drunk and disorderly. But Mariani said Grevemberg is a special-needs teen who’s never consumed alcohol.
The 170-pound teenager, who’s from Tybee Island, said the police used a Taser on him twice and threw him to the ground, breaking a front tooth.
“I just wanted to go to sleep,” the teenager told the Savannah Morning News, as reported by the Examiner.com. “I sat down on the curb and put my head in my arms, and they stopped me.”
Mariani said he had gone into a restaurant briefly and when he stepped back out, his handcuffed brother was bleeding and two Taser barbs dangled from his back.
When he told the police about his brother’s health, "Their eyeballs got about that big when I told them he has a heart condition," Mariani said. The autistic teen’s heart must be monitored regularly, according to his family.
After being taken to the Tybee police station, Grevemberg was released. Yesterday a police dispatcher said that no one was available to comment, according to The Associated Press.
****
I'm so afraid of this happening to Nicky, our kids are so vulnerable. Did you know individuals with ASD come into contact with law enforcement 7 times more often than others. We can't foresee every possibility but we can do something; take our kids to visit local police stations and firehouses and talk about our kids, visit with every EMP, police or fireman we encounter in our community, let all of our neighbors know about our children and our need for everyone to keep an eye out.
Talk to everyone who will listen about this problem and how to recognize a person with ASD. If we all just keep talking I believe we will make a difference. I might save your child and you might save mine.
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